Why Lily Fell
by Yo-yo
Summary: Lily and James have been at odds from their first ride to Hogwarts, but as their worlds and friends become forever intertwined, will she finally submit to fate? Setting 1976, England, the hair, the music, and the couple that changes everything. R & R!
1. Strawberry Lip Smacker

Why Lily Fell

-By Yo-yo

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am merely borrowing the characters (and world) to construct my own interpretation of the events that led to Harry's existence.

A/N: This story was originally posted in 2003, about 5 years before the last book was published and released. In my current re-reading of HP5 (my favorite in the series), I began rereading this story and decided to complete it using the more recently released information.

Story Description: In their 6th year at Hogwarts, in 1976, experience the events that led to James and Lily's inevitable relationship. This is my interpretation, I hope you like it. Read and Review please.

Strawberry Lip Smacker:

"Hey Tuny," she called from the sitting room, "have you seen my books?"

"Which ones?" the reply came from the kitchen.

Upturning the tan cushions of the davenport, she called back, "The Standard Book of Spells, volumes 5 and 6?"

Dropping down to her hands and knees, she surveyed the area beneath the couch before deciding it a lost cause. As she pulled herself up, she turned around just in time to see her sister stomping into the room to involuntarily cringe at the mess she'd made.

To anyone who'd laid eyes on her, Petunia Evans was definitely her dad's daughter. She looked just like him: long, skinny and angular. Everything about her, from her chiseled face, to her slightly upturned nose, her dangling limbs, her straight hips and finally her long craning neck, was geometrical. The only thing about her that didn't remind anyone of second year Maths was her short, straight, dark brown hair, feathered back to resemble Kate Jackson's in _Charlie's Angels_.

In contrast, Lillian Evans was created in her mother's image. They were both built like dancers: medium height, slender and lithe. Her features were softened, her legs long and strong, her height carried her weight well, and her movements were graceful. There were only two features that she didn't share with her mother. One happened to be those famous Evans's eyes: vividly green with small flecks of brown and gold bordering the pupil. The other was her red hair, a dark firebrick red, a trait she shared with her paternal grandmother and no one else.

Although Lillian and Petunia hardly looked alike, they shared some very acute similarities. Both had a light splash of freckles across the bridge of their noses, milky, porcelain skin and were both tall for women. They also shared those green eyes that seemed to pierce whomever they were regarding with an undoing intensity.

When they were younger, their eyes were identical. But as they grew older, their shapes seemed to evolve to reflect their personalities. Lillian's eyes had rounded and widened, an effect of her ever expanding understanding of the world; Petunia's had grown beady, reflecting both a narrowing of her mind and her shrewd curiosity.

"Damn it, Lily," Petunia groaned, shaking her giant helmet of hair from her face, "I thought you were talking about 'Great Expectations' or 'Romeo and Juliet!'"

"Sorry, it's just last night I was studying, and I seem to have misplaced them."

"Typical," Petunia muttered under her breath as she watched her sister unceremoniously replace a cushion.

She watched silently, her frustration simmering, when her sister moved to the La-Z-Boy and stuck her arm deep into the back, feeling for her volumes between the couch and the wall.

"You shouldn't leave that stuff hanging around," she said loud enough for her sister to hear.

"Why? You afraid that dashing young chap, Peter, will see it? Afraid he'll discover that your little sister doesn't actually attend that boarding school in France, but instead, is a witch-in-training?" Lily grinned wickedly at her sister while looking ridiculous in her current position.

Petunia's face grew red in what Lily couldn't decipher as being anger or embarrassment.

"Well, 'Romeo and Juliet' is over-rated anyway," she continued disarmingly, "But if you help me find those books, I'll let you borrow my strawberry Lip Smacker for your date tonight!"

"And you'll clean up this room?" Petunia asked.

That was one of the differences between the sisters. While Tuny was a clean freak, Lily's whole world appeared in disarray. It was amazing how that worked, because Lily was a perfectionist. Her work was always impeccably neat, being known for chucking a whole essay with so much as a smudge in the corner, but for some reason, Lily preferred a mess to surround her. Perhaps, it was for balance.

"What?" Lily frowned, glancing around the room, "This room is fine!"

"It looks as if a cyclone burst through here."

Lily's eyes narrowed mischievously and a smirk curled her lips, "I could conjure one."

"Lily!" Tuny gasped, cringing at the thought.

Another difference between the sisters concerned their feelings on magic. When Lily received the letter the summer of her eleventh year, inviting her to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a rift forged a chasm in their relationship. No longer could Tuny just pretend that her sister was weird. It was now acknowledged and a subject of praise. When Lily returned after her first term, instead of trying to repair their relationship, she unwisely egged on Tuny's aversion and as a result, they suffered many years of bitter bickering. During the last two years, however, they had come to an understanding: Lily would do no magic around Tuny, Tuny would accept Lily, and they both would try not to sabotage their relationship.

"I was joking," Lily smiled good-naturedly. "But really, I'm not cleaning up."

Petunia's eyes narrowed, and a smirk that looked identical to the one Lily had earlier used sculpted her features.

"Well then, I guess I'll have to tell Mum and Da why you really blew up that alarm clock!"

"You wouldn't!" She gasped.

"Oh, I would." She countered, all too sweetly.

"But-"

"Just clean up the mess you've made," Petunia sighed, wishing her little sister wasn't so stubborn.

"Petunia!" Lily whined.

"Lillian!" Tuny mimicked.

"Ok," Lily frowned, realizing this wasn't going anywhere. "But you better be happy that I have nothing better to do on a Friday night."

"Why don't you ask out that boy from the tree?"

"Because," Lily sighed plopping down on the couch, "he's just a friend, plus, he has a thing for a friend of mine."

"Well, why don't you hang out with those friends of yours, from that school?"

Lily rolled her eyes as if stating the obvious, "They don't understand the Underground, and why go through all the trouble if I'm going to see them next week?"

"What about the boy from around the corner?"

"We aren't friends anymore."

"Thank god!"

Lily glared at her sister.

"Petunia, my patience is waning."

Petunia rolled her eyes, "Well **do** something! It shames me to know that beautiful, smart Lily Evans is sitting by her lonesome on a Friday night. Although it elates Petunia plain and tall who has a date with- what did you call him? Oh, 'that dashing young chap,' Peter Mollohan."

"Oh please, you're not plain and tall," Lily scoffed, standing up to face her sister, "You're simply a tart!" she screeched before dashing up the staircase into her room where she bolted the door.

* * *

><p>Falling unceremoniously into her bed, Lily surveyed her room. It was the perfect balance of her two selves, witch and muggle. On her walls hung photos taken by both wizarding and muggle cameras, therefore, some of the photos' subjects moved and others stayed put. On low shelves that bordered two perimeter walls was her book collection. Most were written by muggles: Dickens, Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Twain, even a banned copy of J.D. Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye." Others written by wizards like Mugwomp, Odelay and Crusive. From her ceiling hung a beautiful wicker birdcage where her owl, Noctem, usually slept. A week ago, her closet had been bursting with robes and muggle clothes. Now, her robes were packed away in the large wooden trunk that would be accompanying her back for her sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her carpet was littered with schoolbooks, quills and parchment, as well as ink pens, multi-colored spirals and stickers. Her wand, her second wand, in fact, the first had been snapped in half on her birthday when James Potter had kissed her, was eleven and a quarter inches, a whole inch longer than the first, with a unicorn hair tucked inside, and a few sprinklings of fairy-dust. "Perfect for Charm work," Mr. Ollivander whispered when she handed him the appropriate amount of gold coins. Her wand lay on her desk beside her reading glasses, narrow, black plastic frames, seemingly binding her two worlds in the most neutral of settings.<p>

Even in her own home, Lily couldn't help thinking about her friend of the other world. Delia Flynn and Soleil Benoire were her best friends in the school. From the first day that they'd met, they had instantly taken a liking to each other. On the train ride to Hogwarts, the two girls had taken it upon themselves to explain their own insecurities concerning their magical endowments. By the time they'd settled into their separate beds in their shared dormitory, they'd already committed themselves to being lifelong friends. For the past five years they were always together, sharing the same dormitory with Alice Avery and Mildred Quiglesby.

Then, there were her other friends, most intimately known as, The Marauders. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter had made her five years most intriguing. She couldn't count the times Sirius had left her breathless and in stitches from one of his many hilarious escapades. She'd cherished those times Remus would sit beside her in the common room, challenging her political beliefs and forcing the boundaries of her magical capabilities. She admired the way inferior Peter used his cunning to hide his misgivings, ferreting for loopholes in order to escape the uncomfortable situations in which his friend often placed him.

But James Potter was in a different character altogether.

James Potter was a conceited, stubborn, and incorrigible excuse for a wizard. He claimed dominion in the corridors of Hogwarts, embarrassing his peers and reveling in his superior skill. He exploited people's flaws, invigorated by the inferiority of others. He was frustrating and unfortunately for her, the leader of The Marauders, and one of her friends.

Don't get her wrong, when he wanted to be, James could be the dearest of people. On one of those rare moments, when sincerity had escaped his public façade, she found his personality both endearing and noble. Sometimes, he had even been a comfort to her. She could remember a few instances, over the years, when she hadn't thought twice to put her head on his shoulder, and just… be. But then he'd do something expected and Lily would turn away from him, away from that cocky smirk that appeared when he was at his worst.

"Lily, you've still got the sitting room!" Tuny called from downstairs.

"Coming," she sighed, pushing herself from her bed.

Petunia was eyeing her suspiciously as she descended the staircase. For a moment, she didn't say anything. But after weighing her thoughts, she finally offered:

"You know, if you're desperate, you could always call Adrien?"

Lily groaned aloud as she thought about her French tutor. All summer, Mum and Tuny had been trying to set them up. Finally, he asked her out and she had agreed. When she returned from the date, she immediately dashed for her room, never telling her Mum, nor Tuny, what had happened. Needless to say, she and Adrien had not had a second date.

"I'm not calling Adrien," she sighed, rearranging the sofa cushions so they didn't look as if a three-year-old had just decided to play rocket ship on them.

"Why not?" she asked, curiosity burning in those beady green eyes.

"Because it just isn't right for a tutor and their… tutee to be fraternizing like that."

"What happened to you two that night?"

"Are you looking for my books at all? I really need to get them packed by tomorrow or I'm never going to finish. Then all school year I'll be pelting you with owls, just like last year, asking you to loan me your green sweater and trading you my blue one."

"Sure," Tuny sighed. "I'll go looking for your books and you tidy up this room."

Fifteen minutes later, Lily was replacing the last of the framed photos when the doorbell rang.

Immediately, she halted her work and skipped to the door. Standing on the other side was none other than "that dashing young chap" Peter Mollohan.

"Hey Pete," Lily grinned, ushering him into the house.

"Hey Lily," he smiled, entering the sitting room. "Wow, tidying up the sitting room?"

"Yea, well, you know me, Miss Perfectionist! That Tuny, though, she can be a bit of a slob!" Lily grinned, sharing the obvious joke.

"Speaking of Petunia, is she in?" he asked, knowing of Petunia's disdain for her sister's puerile nickname.

"Yea, she's jus-"

"I found them!" Petunia yelled from the dining room, dashing into the sitting room toward Lily.

When she saw Peter standing beside her sister, she immediately stopped short, and dropped both arms that had been holding the large volumes.

"Whoa, looks like some pretty impressive books?" he said eyeing the heavy bound books with gold lettering behind Petunia's back.

"Yea, first addition Milton, he's a wordy guy. We all know how I love my books!" Lily grinned nervously before grabbing both volumes and dashing for her bedroom.

"What's with her?" Peter asked, watching Lily disappear up the stairs.

"I think she heard the phone ring? Did you hear the phone ring?" she muttered, her voice strangely high.

"No," he grinned, with that dashingly disarming smile of his, "are you ready?"

"For what?" she asked, confusion knitting her brows.

"Our date," he pulled her closer, rubbing her bare arms with his hands.

"Oh, date, sorry!" she smiled, pushing her hair away from her forehead. "I'm going to go get ready. It shouldn't take more than half an hour. Take the clicker and watch some tellie." She smiled apologetically.

"I'll be here," he sat back on the davenport and made himself comfortable.

Petunia climbed up the staircase her sister had just used as an escape. When she reached her room, she noticed how different it was from Lily's. On her walls were posters of bands she loved, but would ultimately replace when something new came along. On her low shelves were mysteries and Harlequin romances; books she would trade with her friends or lose in commute. Cute stuffed bears were set around her room, displaying a playful side she knew she never possessed. Her closet was lined with perfectly pressed clothes, all of which were color-coded in coordination with the color wheel. Her room was immaculate and sterile. It looked lived-in, but not… homey. The difference between Lillian's room and Petunia's was passion. Lily had an aura around her that seemed to consume everything she touched and made everything meaningful. Something that Petunia had always wished she possessed.

Heading straight for her closet, she began picking through her wardrobe, looking for something to wear. As she sorted through the blues, she heard a familiar rhythm knocking on the door.

"Yea?"

"Are you going to ask me to help you or do I have to beg?" Lily's voice implored through the closed door.

"I'd prefer it if you begged," Petunia replied.

"Ha ha." Lily entered her sister's room and sat down on her sister's creaseless bed. A ghost of a smile passing over her features as the faithfully automatic flinch tensed Petunia's posture.

"So, what are you going to wear?" she asked, letting her eyes scan the books on her sister's shelf.

"I'm not sure," Petunia answered, half listening, still searching through the blues.

"Well," Lily said, moving to the floor for a closer look at her sister's book collection. Hoping to find a hidden gem amongst the lumps of coal, she began inspecting titles and synopses. "Well, I was thinking, you always look good in red. So how 'bout the red silk blouse, the one that's open at the neck, the brown skirt and my brown, leather boots?"

"Huh?" Petunia frowned, only hearing the part about the leather boots.

"I **said**: red silk blouse, brown skirt and my leather boots."

"Oh, that's perfect!" Petunia smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Can I borrow that bracelet you got for your birthday?"

"What bracelet?" Lily asked, looking up this time.

"Ya' know, that pretty red beaded one. I think you said that Potter boy gave it to you?"

"Oh," she said, her voice faltering.

"So, can I borrow it? I think it would work well with my outfit."

"Oh, uh," Lily said, her mind racing, "Actually, I don't think it'll look good with your outfit. Too much red can make you look pale. I think my wooden bracelet would be-"

"Too much brown will make me look like a tree. Please can I borrow the red bracelet?"

"I don't think so, Tuny," Lily sighed. "I honestly don't think it'd look good with your outfit."

"Lily, I know that's not it. Really, why don't you want me to wear that bracelet?"

"I just- I just don't want you to wear it. I don't want you to lose it."

"Lillian, I'm not five, I think I can handle not losing a bracelet."

"Look, Petunia, I just don't want you to borrow it, ok?"

"Why? Because that Potter boy gave it to you? Are you sweet on him? Are we going to get a letter from that school of yours saying that our little, sweet, innocent Lillian was caught snogging that Potter boy in the corridor?"

"Shut up, Petunia!" Lily screamed, "I don't like Potter! He is the biggest prat I've ever met!"

"Then why won't you let me wear his bracelet?"

"Because I won't. This conversation is over!" She yelled, storming out of Petunia's bedroom.

Petunia watched as Lily stomped from her room, feeling just the teeniest bit of pride that she was the one to rile up her sister.

* * *

><p>"Knock, knock," Petunia knocked, this time on Lily's door.<p>

"What do you want?" a heavy voice carried through the door.

"There was some talk earlier about a pair of brown leather boots?"

Behind the door Petunia could hear some shuffling through the door, a soft band and a string of obscenities followed. Finally, the door creaked open, and before she could come up with a quip, a pair of heavy, brown boots came flying from the room, crashing the opposite wall loudly.

"Thanks," Petunia called after the door was slammed in her face.

But the other side remained silent.

Shrugging, Petunia grabbed the boots and skipped down to meet Peter on the couch.

"What was that?" Peter asked, turning off the TV as Petunia sat beside him pulling on the boots.

"Oh nothing, just sororal affection."

Placing her foot in the boot, she yelped when she felt her foot tap something with an edge. Retracting her leg, she reached inside and found Lily's strawberry Lip Smacker. A sincere smile softened her features as she tucked the tube in her pocket.

"Ready?" Peter placed his hands on his knees and launched himself from his seated position.

"Ready," she nodded as he helped her stand.

Lily heard the door slam shut as the two lovebirds departed. A sigh escaped her lips as she thought about the stupid argument they both just had. Why in the hell was she getting into an argument with Petunia over James Potter? It was so immature. And why was she so attached to that damned bracelet?

Pushing her hair out of her face, she got out of her bed and continued to pack, not leaving her room until her parents arrived from their date.

TBC . . .

P.A/N: Thank you for reading this. I hope you liked it. If you had ever read the original, you'll know that the plot is still the same, only a few details have been changed. Let me know how you like it so far… Petunia's a jerk, but she's still loveable. Please R&R!

With love,

Yo-yo


	2. Crossing the Border

Why Lily Fell

-By Yo-yo

A/N: I love my first chapter. It builds a rich foundation for the rest of the story. Lily and Petunia's relationship is quite adorable, albeit tense.

A few revisions will be made in the first chapter. I felt uncomfortable straying from facts, so, since this is 6th year, I will change the year to 1976 according to J.K. Rowling's dogma.

I've also found myself confused about a detail used to further Snape's motivation in HP7: In the book/movie, when they were children, Lily and Petunia are similar in age. My question is how is that possible from their later descriptions? Considering Aunts Petunia, Marge and Uncle Vernon, characters we are all quite familiar with, common sense would suggest that Lily (who died at 21) and Tuny's births had to be considerably spaced. Could you imagine Vernon or Petunia being in their early 30s when Harry is 11? It doesn't make sense to me. For the purposes of this story, I will maintain continuity with the original text, but know: I am confussed.

Btw, thank you for those who reviewed, I'm hoping for more responses as the story progresses. I think it's quite compelling and as true to canon as my creativity will allow.

-Yo-yo

* * *

><p>Crossing the Border:<p>

"Da, have you seen my socks?"

"Which ones?" he called from her parent's bedroom.

"The long blue ones with separated toes and rainbows near the ribbing."

"Ask your sister."

"Tuny?" she yelled.

A soft roll of cotton bonked her in the head.

"Thanks," she yelled, unrolling them and pulling them on.

"Are you almost ready?" Mum called from downstairs.

"I'm ready," Lily launched out of her bedroom and down the stairs.

Her hair had been pulled into plaits on either side of her head. Tuny had stayed up late to braid them for her.

"You look cute," her mother glanced at her appreciatively.

"Thanks," she smiled slyly, swiping the car keys as her mother surveyed her choice of outfit. She'd paired a pair of dark bell-bottoms with a white button-up, open deeply at the neck. "Can I drive?"

A frown appeared on Ms. Evans's face, "Lily, I don't kn-"

Lily had obtained her driver's license that summer, a source of pride for her father, but a cause of tension for her mother. Like most mothers, it was difficult to surrender that level of responsibility to her offspring, especially with potentially lethal ramifications.

"Let her drive, Susan," Mr. Evans smiled, pulling on his sports jacket and placing a kiss to his wife's sunken cheek.

Lily loved her Da. He was her most favorite person in the world. Aaron Evans hadn't done anything remarkable in his life, he was quiet and survived on pure habit, some would even say that he was the epitome of boring. But those descriptions of her father were what made her love him more. She loved the way her Da was always the same. Every morning, he woke up at six, showered, dressed, took his coffee with the morning paper, and let her Mum brush his hair. By the time it was seven-thirty, he was on his way to work. In all her sixteen years, he'd never changed. When he returned from work in the evening, he carried the same two gifts for his daughters: a Petunia for Tuny and a chocolate for Lily (who had an addiction).

It was his unwavering stability and consistency she admired.

"Ok," Mum drawled, "but we're going to be late, so go out and start the car."

"Oui, Mademoiselle," she grinned, running out the door, getting some use out of her French lessons.

"Tuny, get your bum down here!" Lily could hear her mother call from inside.

As her family clambered into the station wagon, she could see a similar process being executed at the end of the block. Only the family consisted of a mother and her teenage son, and their haste was preformed more smoothly than her family's.

She didn't take too much time contemplating the morose expressions on either of their faces. They had to make a move on it!

She was ecstatic. Today she would be boarding the scarlet, magically powered steam engine back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and she couldn't wait. Sure, her summer at home with her family had been great, but she couldn't wait to use her wand again.

As soon as her feet touched the tiled floors of King's Cross Station, she could feel the familiar surge of magic percolate through her whole being, sending shivers from head to toe, making her fingertips tingle.

Having done it five years in a row, getting onto Platform 9 ¾ was no problem. As soon as they'd set foot on the platform, the familiar squeals of her best friends reminded her that this was indeed her life. In moments, she was engulfed in a pair of long, brown arms. A head of raven curls bobbed around a dark head and a pair of brown eyes, framed by glasses, stood beside the two, waiting her turn with a grin on her face.

"Girlies!" She grinned, pulling away from Sunny to envelop Fly.

"I like your braids," Sunny fingered the ginger plaits.

"All Tuny," she beamed, indicating her sister standing closeby.

"Mr. and Mrs. Evans," Sunny nodded, "How was your holiday?"

"Not as nice as yours, I suspect. Lily showed us the tableau from the south of France. It was beautiful!"

"There was an artist painting on the streets of Monaco, I saw his work and knew Lily would enjoy it."

"If you don't mind, I'm showing it in my shop," she asked, to which Sunny shook her head. Turning to Fly, Susan continued, "Fly, how was your summer with the Potters?"

"Illuminating," she groaned. "Actually we spent the summer playing Quidditch and lounging around."

"As you can tell, Lily's summer wasn't as 'illuminating,' as you put it. She spent her whole summer lamenting the fact that all her friends were having fun without her. It's all she's been talking about."

Lily frowned at the implications of father's joke. Although Aaron's remark wasn't the true account of her summer holidays, she did make sure to keep her parents current on her friends' happenings.

"He's joking with you guys. I had an amazing stay-cation."

"Are you guys excited to be heading back?" Aaron's green eyes twinkled from the girls' infectious mirth.

"Excited! That's an understatement," Fly spoke up, "Sunny here kept trying to get her Mum to believe the Hogwarts Express broke down, beyond repair and we should just Portkey our way to the grounds first thing, **yesterday** morning."

"Portkey?"

"An object that acts like a teleporter?" Lily offered, mulling her choice of example. Somehow, that example quelled their curiosity, although teleporters didn't exist in either world.

"I did not!" Sunny blushed, pinching Fly playfully in the shoulder before conceding, "Ok, so I did, but she wouldn't listen. Apparently, Skye gave Maman **her** letter for the year. I was caught."

"Is Mme. Benoire still around?" Susan implored.

"No, Pinkie was being a pest and Mama wasn't feeling very well."

Susan lent a sincere frown. Her connection with Mme. Benoire over raising daughters overcame their inability to empathize on other aspects of their lives. Susan found most Hogwart's parents alienating, sometimes to the point of rudeness, when interacting with Muggles.

"I'll let her know you asked. Maybe you can meet up for tea? I'll arrange it."

"That's sweet, I'd like that."

"Petunia," Fly offered distinction to Lily's older sister, "Have you cut your hair?"

"No more than a trim," she responded, pompously. "I got it styled differently for school. I'm in my final year, now. I decided I needed a new look. Next year, I'll be going off to the ladies' college."

"Well, good for you," Sunny adopted Petunia's haughty demeanor.

Suddenly, three boys crashed into the girls. Two of them could be brothers. They shared jet black hair and tall thin frames. They were both attractive; a characteristic they both embraced as they surreptitiously noted the throng of teenage girls "ignoring" them. The third shared no resemblance to the others, but wasn't in the least unattractive. Although not as tall, his pale skin contrasted sharply with his dark eyes and complemented his honey brown hair. He seemed rumpled and put together at the same time…

These were, in fact, an incomplete assemblage of The Marauders.

"Hey Tiger," Sirius smiled, tugging on Lily's arm, leading her toward a train car, "we've saved you a place in our compartment, c'mon."

"Wait a moment," she halted his pursuit, "Where's Peter?"

"He hasn't arrived yet," Remus shrugged.

Tuny raised a measured brow at the appearance of Remus, which her sister ignored, but James took note of.

"Well, say hi-" She motioned, but was interrupted by her father.

"Moony!" Da grinned, taking Remus's hand in an energetic shake, "How are you? You should come by more often. Call us next time so we can order pizza. I'm appalled that a young man, such as yourself hasn't been weaned on such a life sustaining dish."

"I will," Remus grinned, winking at Lily.

"What's pizza?" the remaining Marauders wondered aloud.

Aaron's non-verbal response was a look akin to the boys having sprouted multiple heads.

"Lily, just invite the whole school over," he sighed. "I'm ashamed of that place, not feeding you guys properly. After all of those contributions we've made!"

"Da, they feed us well enough, it's just that we don't eat pizza-"

"Well, you should! It's how I survived University!" he interjected.

"I put him on an exercise program before the wedding," Susan patted Aaron's belly with an appreciative smile.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Evans," Sirius and James finally chorused in order to avoid reprimand.

"Sirius, James," Susan smiled warmly, "why didn't you accompany Moony to our neighborhood this summer?"

"Mum, I'm sure these ragamuffins were getting into their own brand of mischief," she rolled her eyes at her mother's comment.

"Ragamuffins?" Susan scoffed, "Hardly, I'm sure," then a thoughtful expression knit her brow, "although some of the stories she's told us…"

"What stories?"

"Lily talks about us?" Sirius and James interjected at the same time, further fortifying the fraternal resemblance.

"Really," Lily laughed, "you think I wouldn't tell my parents what havoc you wreak at Hogwarts?"

"They're all lies!" Sirius countered, turning to her parents, who burst into guffaws. "No, really, she's a liar. She will say and do anything to get her way. Like there was this one time when we were learning to fly and she fainted! She actually fainted to get out of it. Swooning like some turn of the century duchess. Can you imagine that? Tiger Lily here, fainted on the grass during one of our first lessons together ever! Just so she wouldn't have to fly."

"You never told us that?" Aaron frowned.

"Da, wasn't I the one the clowns had to stop the Ferris wheel for when I was seven? Wasn't I the one that threw up three times on The Bobs at Bell Vue Zoological Gardens because my eyes were closed? Wasn't it I who threatened you bodily harm if you made me take that hot air balloon ride with you?" She supplemented.

"You do have an irrational fear of height," he nodded.

"C'mon, let's get your things packed away before Sirius rambles on," James interjected, grabbing her trunk from her Da.

The whole group proceeded toward the back of the train. Sirius hung back to continue to discredit Lily's name:

"…and there was the time she and Sunny blew up the Herbology class-"

"Fitting, trying to destroy the Herbology class," Susan cast a glance at Lily's back.

"We did not!" Sunny cried, scandalized, "That was you!"

She slowed her stride so she could begin to pound Sirius, which only incited his spirit. Walking, avoiding Sunny's punches and swinging Noctem's cage precariously, he continued,

"Nun, uh!" Sirius protested, "You could ask Professor Bloom, he saw you!"

"You were the one that kept poking the Exploding Putters." Lily argued, joining Sunny's jabs, "Professor Bloom said not to disturb them, and you, being the masochist that you are, started prodding them with your wand. I had to get special tonic from Madame Pomphrey to remove the Sticking Sloglat and it took three separate washes!"

James and Aaron were heaving Lily's trunk onto the overhead compartment when the sound of the warning whistle altered the platform.

"I guess that means you must be going?" Aaron asked, looking down at his youngest.

"Yea," she sighed, wrapping her arms around him.

With a kiss he released her and she shared a moment with both her mother and Petunia. Blowing kisses, she left them on the platform as the compartment door closed to King's Cross.

"Remember to brush!" she could see her mother mouthing through the glass.

With a slight nod, the train began to move away from the Muggle world.

* * *

><p>"What were you doing at her place?" James breathed, for the first time wondering where Remus's allegiance lay.<p>

"Visiting," Remus replied coolly, trying to avoid the uncomfortable conversation.

"Moony," he groaned dangerously.

James was being impetuous. He knew that. But upon discovering Aaron Evan's warm reception and noticing the subtle wink Remus passed Lily, he was feeling threatened.

Everyone knew he was in love with Lily Evans.

And everyone knew Lily had an easy, intimate relationship with Remus. From their first year they were attracted to one another for their mutual fortitude. The outcast and the Muggle held fast in the common room, striving continuously to prove meaningful in the magical world.

Sometimes, James feared their symbiotic attachment would incept something romantic.

"Prongs," Remus sighed, "You should know by now that you have nothing to worry about. Lily is my friend, that's all she will ever be. I'm sorry, but I'm not in love with your girl."

"Then what inspired you to take a trip to Little Whinging?"

Sirius watched from a few feet away, not interfering with the exchange. Conflicted between wanting to defend Remus's freedom to visit a friend and James's fear of competition in Lily's case, he'd rather remain neutral.

"Look, I went to her for relationship advice."

"Relationship?" Sirius perked up, curiosity reanimating him. "Who are you possibly in a relationship with?"

"Someone who'll never know," Remus breathed inaudibly, returning to the compartment, leaving his friends to exchange confused looks.

* * *

><p>"So Tiger Lily, how was your holiday?" Sirius entered the compartment.<p>

"Wow, no pleasantries, straight to the nitty gritty?" She scowled, pulling a cardigan over her shoulders.

"Well Fly here hasn't been revealing the contents of your correspondence. Imagine Noctem flying toward the lawn as we're playing Quidditch to deliver a letter to Fly. She dismounts her broom, without a word, and for the rest of the evening she's left us to our own devices! Do you know what happens when we're left to our own devices?"

"They accomplish a warning from the Ministry," Fly rolled her eyes. "It didn't come to anything, though. I'm sure Potter senior had it sorted before the end of the day."

"So what if he had?" James wrapped an arm around Fly's shoulders. "It's your fault that we incurred the violation in the first place!"

"My fault?"

"This story is sounding familiar," Remus groaned aloud, sending a wink to Lily.

"Don't bring me into this!" she whispered between her teeth.

"Bring her into this! What happened?" Sunny betrayed her.

"Lily has been sending Noctem to my window, accusing me of what James is accusing Fly."

"You got a warning?" Sirius jumped from his seat turning to Fly accusingly, "Has that been in her correspondences?"

"You got in trouble with the Ministry?" James asked.

"I violated the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery Act and pissed off my Mum," she acknowledged.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

"I fell out of a tree."

An eruption of laughter bounced around the compartment, knocking off the walls and collided with itself.

"What?" Sirius chuckled, seeing her look of disdain.

"I fell out of a tree, and was so sore the next morning that I mistakenly exploded my alarm… my Mum grounded me."

"Why were you in a tree in the first place?" Delia asked, sending a sideways glance to Sirius, who was fighting another wave of laughter.

"I was out past curfew, and someone here," she scowled at Lupin again, "happens to be an insomniac. I was late for my French lesson."

"I am sorry, Lily," Remus grinned, "but you where the one that choose the tree-"

"Only because, unlike you, I can't jum- climb up the roof. The tree is easier. I've climbed it a million times."

"Then why'd you fall out?" Sunny managed to control her chortling.

"Because Remus likes to vex me. He shook the limb I was sitting on and caught me off guard. I fell. Petunia had to convince my parents I fell off the bed while having a late night chat with her."

James watched the two interact with one another, and couldn't help feeling jealous. Lily had invited Moony, one of his friends, into her home, and had even stayed out with him past curfew. But he knew if he'd ever stepped on her welcome mat, she'd conjure some protective spell that'd knock him back to the previous Friday.

"So, Tiger Lily," Sirius began, assuming a faraway look, "sparkle in my eye, my world and love of my life… you've invited my friends into your home, but you've forgotten about Prongs and me. You've wounded me!" he cried dramatically, placing his hands over what he supposed was his heart.

"Sirius, I hate to tell you this, but that's not your heart."

Looking down and seeing his hands cupped upon the right side of his chest, Sirius glanced back at Lily with an adorable smile.

"So you're right! I guess I need to rethink that."

"Remus showed up one day during my French lesson, and he just spent the day with me and my family. No invitation necessary, although, I _obviously_ couldn't wait until he left!"

"Hence, her strict adherence to curfew," Remus smirked.

"Shut up, you!" She punched his arm.

"Note to self," Sirius muttered aloud, "bombard Lily with uninvited visits over the holidays."

"We forgot to ask," Fly tapped her shoulder as she was sitting next to her. "Did you ever go on that date with that guy?"

"What guy?" Lily asked.

James ears perked up, wondering who was worthy enough to score a date with Lily.

"That guy, Frenchie?"

"Oh, Adrien?" she wrinkled her nose. "Yea, we went out once."

"Who's Adrien?" He cleared his throat to mask his tone.

"Isn't that your French tutor?" Remus attempted to diffuse the situation.

"Yea, do we have to talk about this?"

"Yea!" the rest of the car said in unison.

"You guys suck!" she groaned, sending pointed glances specifically to Dee and Sunny.

"How was it?" Sunny asked, pushing a stray curl from her forehead, oblivious to the fact that Remus was watching her every move.

"It was ok. We went to see this movie. It's new… The Omen? It was a chilling film about the Antichrist."

She should have known Muggle movies wouldn't distract her friends when Sunny asked,

"Did you snog?"

"Uh, mmmhmmm," she mumbled inaudibly, her cheeks glowing red.

"What was that, I didn't catch that?" asked Sirius, a broad smile on his face as she observed James's reaction.

"Yes."

"How was it?" Sunny egged her on.

"I don't know," she sighed, fidgeting in her seat.

"Good or bad?" Fly asked, noting her discomfort.

"Girls, I'm not discussing this in front of the guys!" she finally exclaimed.

James watched as she turned away from the group and pulled out a paperback, as sure sign that she wanted to be left alone. As she sank further into her seat, she found her place in her book, and as James could tell, she pretended to read.

Even now, as the words on the page swam around the page in a jumbled mess before her eyes, she could feel his eyes on her. His gaze seemed to penetrate her layer of clothing and touch her skin, leaving gooseflesh in its wake.

She'd forgotten how intense his gaze could be, how profound those hazel orbs were behind glasses. In different sentiments, they changed colors, like faceted gems in a glass case. At times, his eyes seemed to shimmer gold, reflecting vividly. Some moments, they were chocolate kissed, swirling with something she'd never understood. And in other moments, his eyes were a dark, unpronounceable color that could best be described as black.

Currently, they were that brilliant shade of hazel, bright as they reached her from afar, leaving pleasant warmth in their wake. They were like fingers, trembling as they stroked her skin, like a virgin, savoring in her softness.

She pushed a flyaway strand of orange hair from her face, a frown marring her visage.

Where was this feeling coming from?

Her body was overheating under his mere gaze. Her skin was actually pimpling beneath the layers of cotton.

Her body was betraying her as her brain reminded her: she was not in love with James Potter.

* * *

><p>"We're going to go look for Peter," Sirius said an hour later, pushing his hair from his eyes letting that handsomely bored expression consume his countenance.<p>

"So anyway," Fly turned to her friends, once the boys had sauntered out, "how was the snog?"

A loud sigh fell from her lips before she gave in, "After we snogged, I ran into the house. I still haven't told Mum or Tuny what happened."

"That bad?"

"I didn't know. It wasn't a great date, I just… I saw Sev heading in our direction and I felt cornered. I think I might have snogged Adrien to spite Sev? I felt bad after. Adrien called a few times and I didn't answer." She frowned, looking at Fly.

"Have you spoken to Severus since-?"

"Last term? No-"

"Great!" Sunny smiled, having never been a fan of Lily's friendship with Snape.

Lily rolled her eyes before changing the subject, "So, did you come to a consensus?"

"Yea, Ericsson and I finished," Sunny's smile turned to a frown.

"What?" Fly and Lily gasped.

"There was no point. I mean, with him now working at the Ministry and me, still in Hogwarts… We'd never see one another. Plus, I would have to stop seeing other people, and what's the point in that if I'm not even seeing the one I'm with."

"I'm going to ease the tension by saying, it seems like you're reaching maturity, but I know that you just don't want to stop dating. You're a bit of a slag."

"I'd agree," Fly grinned, not being fooled by her friend's morose façade.

Lily observed Sunny and couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful person she'd ever laid eyes on. Sure she, herself, was pretty, but a common sort of pretty. Her green eyes and red hair were so common the features had become cliché.

But Sunny was different, an exotic beauty that left everyone breathless. From her name, it was obvious that she was French, but that was all you could tell of her ethnicity. Her dark, creamy mocha skin spanned across her long limbs, with a subtle hint of gold, glowing healthily beneath. Her face was heart shaped with lips the color of pink rose petals, cheekbones high and naturally tinted, and a round and narrow nose. Her hair bore ebony curls. But those of her features were common compared to her eyes. Her eyes were the color of the sky on a rainy day. Their grayish-blueness seemed almost mystical as they regarded something with that simple intensity of hers.

Even when he'd first met her, Lily could easily see how Lupin first loved her.

Fly was like Lily: common. Fly was one of those girls that guys spent countless hours trying to decipher if she was pretty or not. She had short, thick, straight brown hair that curled at her nape. Her skin was honey brown, as if perpetually tanned, gently covering her short- well, shorter than Lily- curvaceous body. She wasn't overweight, in fact, she was fairly slim, but she'd been blessed with full breasts, round hips and shapely calves. Her wide, brown eyes were beautiful, but hidden behind her wire rimmed glasses. Her nose was large for her face and sort of beaky.

"Well, I can't get too angry about it now… it was really my decision-" Sunny began.

But the boys barged in, before she could continue, with sated smiles.

"What'd you guys do?" Lily asked, annoyance, bordering on anger flickering in her eyes.

"Why Tiger Lily," Sirius scoffed, the picture of innocence masking his satisfied grin, "why would you believe us to conduct ourselves in anyway un-Christian?"

"Because you're not Christian, in fact, I'm sure you don't know what that means…"

"Hey, there are Christian wizards! We were around back then! In fact, some wizard historians think that prophet fellow might have concealed his identity in order to secure Muggle followers!"

"Don't try to divert the conversation," she remained steadfast. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," he smiled.

"Remus?" she turned, her expression hardening.

Remus flushed with guilt, knowing that resisting Lily would be quite painful. But upon gleaning the death glares Prongs and Padfoot were sending, he decided a pounding from the guys might be more painful than a pounding from Lily.

"Nothing, Lils."

"If I find Snape, or any other Slytherin, coming off the train with so much as a forked tongue, I will not hesitate to transfigure you into mice." She informed them.

"Hey, that's not fair," Sirius ejaculated, shooting Lily an incredulous glare.

"And why not? It's called karma-"

"Isn't karma an action of the universe? Isn't it supposed to happen naturally?" Delia asked.

"Fly, you're not helping," she shot her friend a look. "Why are you guys messing with the Slytherin's anyway? We just got on the train. They haven't even given you guys a chance to hate them."

"We weren't messing with Slytherins," James conceded, his hands ruffling his hair.

"Then-"

"Just one particular Slytherin," Sirius grinned.

"Sna-"

"Not your boyfriend," Sirius sneered.

"He's not even a Slytherin, per se," Remus corroborated.

"A first year? You're a perfect!" she gasped.

"My brother, Lily… Regulus."

"Your brother?" Sunny asked.

"Yea, I totally forgot he was starting this year. It wasn't until I saw him in one of the cars that I remembered. He'll probably be a Slytherin, it's the family house."

"You never speak about your brother; I assumed you'd disowned him when you left Grimmauld Place?"

"I've spent the last eleven years of his life tormenting him. Why would I let pesky things like a change of address and staining the family name keep me from my duty?" Sirius replied.

"He's quite predictable, once you think about it," Fly offered Sunny an explanation.

"He's my Mum's favorite, the brat! And since he's my brother, I have every night to hex him until he's unrecognizable. I'm not indiscriminately attacking youth and inexperience; I'm affectionately expressing our mutual disdain concerning our shared blood and fundamental difference."

"I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this situation, but I'll figure it out." She groaned, "Did you guys find Pete?"

"No," James shook his head. "I sent my owl, Hermes, to his house."

"Hermes?" Sunny asked.

"A new owl. I got him this summer. Mercury died on me."

"He was like thirty million years old." Remus offered.

"I'm sorry if I'd rather my favorite, faithful family owl to some newbie. Anyway, I expect there will be a letter back tomorrow."

"Hermes, messenger to the gods," Delia ruminated aloud. With a start she turned to her friend with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "James, do you fancy yourself a god?"

His face grew warm as the room livened with laughter as they rolled around the cabin in tears.

TBC…

P. A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. All of the research, using both the books and the internet, is maddening, but fun. I hope you like my Marauders. They would be fun friends to have… as Lily called them in the first chapter, intriguing. (Also, I hope the Christian joke came off more lighthearted than offhanded. I meant to be funny, not offend. So, in the words of Puck (Shakespeare, Midsummer Night's Dream): If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended, that you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear…)

With love,

Yo-yo


	3. Group Dynamics

Why Lily Fell

-By Yo-yo

A/N: Hi everyone. I hope you like this next chapter. It's introducing you to the group dynamic, but also lending some experience to the nature of Lily & James's relationship. It'll heat up the next chapter when Lily's fiery attitude begins to match her hair. Have a wonderful holiday season, maybe I can upload the next chapter for Christmas? (The Christmas chapter will be posted much later in the year)

Group Dynamics:

On a frigid, grey January morning in her fifth year at Hogwarts, Lily woke, later than usual, to an empty dormitory. It wasn't an unusual experience, the empty dormitory bit. With everyone freaking out over the impending O.W.L. examinations, even she used every available moment to study, sometimes finding a seat in the Great Hall hours before the first students ebbed in for breakfast.

But today was her birthday, and like birthdays previous, she had expected her friends to be grinning from their four-posters, ready for her to open gifts.

However, when she threw open the heavy, winter curtains, the day welcomed her with bitter stillness. Sighing and groaning in the same breath, she collected her toiletries, like normal, sure that tonight would bring the festivities.

It was Friday, after all. They could all use a night off.

Having finally washed, dressed, and brushed her hair into defiant submission, she set down the staircase and off to Ancient Runes.

When she reached class, she moved to sit beside Edgar Bones, a fellow Gryffindor, and flatmate of The Marauders. Upon reaching her seat, she found a dark green sack on her chair with her name pinned to it. Unpinning the scrap of parchment, she read the message on the back: _To carry your treasures, Edgar_.

"Oh, Edgar, thank you!" Lily beamed, leaning over to give him a hug.

"No problem, happy birthday." He hugged her back.

Later, as she settled beside her Muggle friend, Ieva (pronounced Yev-ah), in Muggle Studies, David Bowie's record,_ Young Americans_, lay across her desk with a scrap of parchment temporarily stuck, which read: _To dance to, Ieva_.

"Ieva, I wasn't expecting this, thank you." A sincere smile and firm hug indicated it was surely appreciated.

"Don't be, I'm itching to hear it. My brother says it's live!"

"Definitely, we'll borrow the classroom," she grinned, an idea they'd acted on a few times, permission granted of course, because it had the only functioning record player in the school. Not that Lily needed a record player, anyway. She had long ago invented a charm to magically play Muggle records. She was just unsure how to bring Ieva into the common room without revealing its whereabouts, and getting flack from Gryffindors.

"I'll ask Professor Minkus after our lesson."

In Arithmancy, Mildred had given her a book of practical spells, and Alice had knit her a soft, grey jumper.

The gifts were unexpected, and their presentations heartfelt, but having not encountered any of her closest friends yet, she was growing despondent at the thought of them ever acknowledging her birthday. It was only when she found her friends furtively eyeing a package at lunch, when they seemed to even notice that this day was different.

"Wotcher!" James pointed a used butter knife at her as she sat at her place on the bench. "You've got a package."

"I can see that, thank you," she looked at it quietly. It was quite small, and her name scripted on the top wasn't in any handwriting she knew. Undoing the brown paper wrapping, in a small jewelry box was a Muggle-made turquoise and pewter hair clasp. _Wishing you an enlightening sixteenth. Happy birthday, Sev_.

"So, who's it from?" Sunny grinned, "It's gorgeous!"

"Severus."

"Why'd he go and do that?" James put on a look of confusion. His façade slightly faltered at the sight of Snape's gift.

Lily didn't respond. She wasn't interested in indulging James's denial as she fingered the hair clasp. A smile touched her lips as she fingered the clasp. Without noticing James's crestfallen expression, she passed the note for her friends to read and stood up to scan the Great Hall. Severus caught her gaze and nodded. She smiled and turned back to her friends.

"Wotcher, it's your birthday?" James asked as she pulled a plate.

"That's what the note says," she groaned, frustrated with her friends' reactions.

"Happy birthday," Sunny and Fly said at the same time, while James continued,

"Why didn't you say anything? Gosh, we've plum forgotten in all of this exam business!"

"Well thank you, everyone," she said curtly, while quietly consuming her meal and getting lost in her thoughts. The girls didn't offer a hug. Her Mum hadn't sent a card… no one cared.

"Where were you this morning?" Lily asked Dee, feigning nonchalance as they made their way toward Charms, after lunch.

"Studying. My last Defense Against the Dark Arts exam didn't go very well. Boggarts keep immobilizing me."

"No feeling behind _Riddikulus_?"

"I've got a feeling, I just can't verbalize the spell when the Boggart's in form."

"What is this?" she grinned, turning to Fly.

"I have no idea," Fly replied, quite convincingly, eyeing the envelope that sat on her desk, "but it's got your name on it. You should open it."

On her desk was a gift certificate to Honeydukes, with Hagrid's name listed as the sender.

"You'll certainly use that," Fly nodded, noncommittally, making no more statements once Professor Flitwick began class.

As she descended toward the dungeons, Lily's shoulder beginning to feel the weight of her new things, she couldn't help the tears that collected in her eyes. Beside her, Sunny ambled, none the wiser to her friend's internal strife.

When they finally entered Slughorn's classroom, she found a flannel blanket with tiny Bludgers, Quaffles Snitches and brooms whizzing around it was folded gingerly on her stool. A scrap of parchment was pinned to it, reading: _To keep you warm, Fly_.

And involuntarily, a watery hiccup escaped her and a wide smile burst forth while she hugged Sunny, who had nothing to do with the gift.

"What are you doing?" Sunny gave her a confused frown.

"The jig is up!" she smiled, pulling the blanket around her shoulders.

Sunny stared at her for a moment, keeping her face emotionless, but after two seconds of looking Lily in the eyes, her lips twitched, and she finally had to concede.

"Ok you idiot! Of course we remembered that this was your birthday! Well, Fly and I did. My gift is coming next."

"Did you set this up?" she indicated the presentation of gifts in every class.

"Ya, it was fun watching you look so forlorn all day. You're an odd person. Only you can manage to be sad when she's given gifts all day."

History of Magic met Lily with a chocolate flavored quill, and another note attached, _To encourage a taste for note-taking, for me to copy, Sunny_.

By the end of the day, Edgar's gift was full with birthday presents. On her way to the Great Hall after History of Magic, Ieva found her and pulled her away from the doors in the opposite direction.

"I've gotten permission to have dinner in the Muggle Studies classroom. We can eat something special and listen to music for your birthday?"

Not having the heart to tell Ieva that she wanted Fly and Sunny with her, she followed her friend up the stairs, toward the classroom.

Swinging the door open to let Lily through first, Lily was shocked to find all of her friends packed into the classroom, grinning at her confused expression.

"Surprise!" Everyone yelled, and realization finally struck her.

The desks had been moved to the ceiling, Muggle records were playing in the background and a banner with her name on it had been strung along a row of windows.

"Well, let the festivities begin!" she finally said, after a moment, recovering her senses.

And suddenly everyone was talking to her, wishing her happy birthday, shoving presents and cards in Edgar's bag and chewing the copious amounts of snacks on the table.

"You guys!" She grinned when she finally reached Sunny and Dee.

"No!" Sunny shook her head and grinned. "The gifts were us, this party was them." She pointed at the four Marauders standing against the fireplace, each one assuming that handsomely bored look they were all famous for.

"And you?" She turned to Ieva, the sneak.

"They enlisted me. I had only gotten the gift and Sunny told me how to present it to you. She told me you'd have a lackluster response. Rude, by the way!"

"I'm sorry, I just thought…"

"Don't apologize. I get it, in hindsight." She hugged her friend before pushing her in the direction of The Marauders.

"So, this is all you?" she approached them, her hands on hips.

"Good actors, aren't we?" Peter broke character.

"Ok," she shrugged, masking her smile behind the nonchalance.

"Oh please, you looked positively woebegone!" James grinned outright, moving to her elbow her in the ribs.

"Did not," she shoved back playfully, letting her hands linger a split second on his chest.

Their playful behavior, a mutual truce, lasted later into the night after the party moved to Gryffindor tower where the firewhiskey could be passed around, undetected by the adults.

Late into the night noted quietly that James hadn't gotten her a gift, not that this party wasn't enough.

She was dancing with Edgar, firewhiskey going to her head and her resolve sloughing off. Her friends watched silently as arms halted her crazy, energetic dancing.

"James?" she breathed, whirling around slightly disoriented, unconsciously moving too close in his arms.

"I haven't given you your present," he smiled, watching her press herself closer.

"So, what is it?" she asked awkwardly, watching him with her head tilted to the side.

"This," he whispered, and in a second, she was shocked into realization.

James Potter had pulled her body to his and pressed a kiss to her lips.

At the exact same moment, someone had taken a photo, the blinding flash leaving her slightly dazed.

It was then that she realized they were still attached at the lips, with an uncontrollable heat surging her whole body, and it was in realizing this unfamiliar feeling, licking at every inch in her body, that she lost control.

She didn't realize what she'd done until she felt her hand throbbing and saw him lying on the common room floor with a small trickle of blood seeping from his split lip. She could feel her anger building, taking over the feeling that had just melted her, as she went to retrieve her wand, which had broken his fall, and was snapped in two.

Maybe she was more affected by the alcohol than she thought, but fear was overwhelming the anger that had overtaken the… whatever it had been that had kept her lips from leaving his.

She was so scared.

She was afraid of what had just happened. She was frightened of how she felt and what it meant. She was terrified of how forward he had been, how instinctive it had felt… and most of all, she was afraid of the look in his eyes as he watched her standing over him.

It was that look in his eyes that forced her in the direction of her dormitory, unable to handle the inquisitive looks of her friends as unshed tears blinded her.

* * *

><p>"Lily…"<p>

She heard a small voice call her from the depths of slumber.

"Lily," the voice called again. "Hey Lily, get up!"

Reality woke her and she started. Opening her eyes, she found herself lying on one of the overstuffed couches of the common room with Sunny and Fly standing over her, already dressed.

"Lily, did you sleep here all night?" Sunny wrinkled her nose.

Lily looked down at the opened book on her chest. She distinctly remembered reading by the lamplight last night… and then she wasn't. The next thing she remembered was that cold January morning.

"I guess I did," she sighed, remembering her dream. It was not her sixteenth birthday.

"Well, get up, will ya'," Fly said, stepping back to let Lily up. "Today is our last day of freedom, so we wanted to do something fun."

"Like what?" Lily yawned, ruffling back her hair that had been freed from the braids last night.

"Well, a bunch of us were going to play that game you taught us, Dodge ball, up on our brooms on the Quidditch pitch. Sunny reckons she'll take a swim in the lake, and we don't know your plans-"

"I'll join Sunny," Lily said, turning toward the girls' dormitory.

"We'll wait for you here," Sunny said, grabbing the book Lily had fallen asleep reading and flopped down on the couch.

"You'll wait for her! I'm going to be late," Fly said, grabbing her broom from where she'd left it on a couch. "Oh, and come by and watch. Tell me if you see any talent. We're looking for two new Beaters, and as new Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, I refuse to lose to Slytherin."

"Whatever," Lily shut the door to the staircase.

When she returned, Sunny was deeply engrossed in the Muggle book that she'd taken from Lily.

"You ready?" she asked, shoving a towel in her green sack.

"Oh," Sunny started, ripping her eyes away from the novel. "This story is compelling. May I borrow it?"

"Sure," Lily replied, pushing back her curls. "I've read it twice, already."

Although Sunny had moved into a seated position, she returned to the pages as Lily pulled her hair into some semblance of a hairstyle. Over the summer, Susan and Tuny had taught her to manage her long, thick, often unruly curls, after deeming Lily's unabashed tomboyishness an embarrassment to the Evans name. They had taken her to a salon where the hairdresser taught her how to control her curls and abate frizz. He'd even taught her how to straighten it, a style she'd forgone today as she was going for a swim.

"Ready," Lily announced, adjusting the elastic to the large tuft atop her head.

"Ok," Sunny pulled herself up and placing Toni Morrison's _Sula_ in her beach bag.

When they reached the lake, Lily pulled off her t-shirt and shorts and dived into a deep part of the lake, still warm from the long summer months.

* * *

><p>No matter how insincere Lily believed his interest in her, James always knew when she was around.<p>

When she and Sunny exited the school, it was as if he could feel her nearness, like she lay just under his skin, alerting him to her every move.

He watched as she moved across the lawn, stopping at her favorite spot along the lake's perimeter. He watched as she stripped down to her yellow, one piece bathing suit and waited patiently for Sunny. He watched as she slipped fluidly beneath the gleaming surface, submerging herself beneath the murky depths, leaving only a few bubbles of foam in her wake.

He was immersed in her movements as she gracefully made her way across the lake, extending perfect limb after perfect limb as she swam languidly. Wisps of curls clinging to her wet neck, water filling the space in her décolletage, her lips dark pink against her pale skin, just begging to be bit-

WHAM!

"James, where's your head at?" Fly's shriek ripped through the air.

With the pain of a bruised side and a ringing in his head from her shrill voice, a loud groan doubled him to a slump on his broom. He didn't know why she was taking this so seriously. Term hadn't even begun and she was already critiquing their flying techniques. They weren't even scheduled to begin Quidditch practice for a good three weeks and she was already scouting players.

If there was ever a word that he would use to describe Delia Flynn, it would be intense. Or maybe obsessive. From the first day that they'd met, he'd been blown away by her presence. Even now, she only stood at five foot three, shorter than all of her friends, and yet her volatility was well-known throughout Hogwarts. Her reproach was only rivaled by Lily, when upset.

"Man, what were you staring at?" Caleb, the Gryffindor Seeker, asked moving toward him. "You were like, in a daze."

If there was one word that James would use to describe Caleb Krugal, it would be inept. Caleb made his way through life baffling everyone in his incompetence. His only saving grace was his skill at spotting the elusive golden ball. Because on the Quidditch pitch, it didn't matter that Caleb was a dimwit. His only obvious skill kept the Gryffindor team competitive.

"Sorry," he sighed, rubbing his side and turning back to the game.

There were about thirty players on the field, all from different houses, flying in two large groups, opposing one another with about eight Quaffles between them. He knew most of the players, there were Fly, Sirius, Caleb and Blag Wren (Gryffindor's Keeper). Then there were Suze Hermit, Imogene Foster, Rafe Leppy and Horatio Smirth, who were all Ravenclaw's, but only Imogene and Rafe were on their house's team. There were also Bryan Corner, Mercutio and Benvolio Capulet (who were twins), Catalina Lo, Pierce Peters and Julius Carone, who were all in Hufflepuff and all were on their team. Then there were two Slytherin's he couldn't name and the rest were younger years.

"Whatever," Fly groaned, calling the game back into play. Soon there was a shower of Quaffles darting around the Quidditch field, trying to hit opposing players and knock them off their brooms.

By the end of many games, James was being knocked off his broom more than he was comfortable with. Everyone had become aware of his vulnerability and attacked him, sparing no mercy. For Lily Evans was lounging in the stands with Sunny- doing just as Fly asked and surveying the players- creating saccharine scripts to tell Fly that James should be, perhaps, excused from the team, using today's demonstration as evidence.

When Fly had finally blown her whistle James hurtled to the ground and sprinted into the locker room for a quick shower. He knew as soon as everyone had heard how horribly he'd performed at a simple Muggle game no one would let it go.

"Merlin, what the hell was wrong with you today?" Fly bombarded him as he climbed through the portrait hole.

"I got distracted," he answered, not even managing to pick up his head to respond.

"By what, a cloud? A bird? A blade of grass?" She practically yelled. "If you're going to get 'distracted' like this during a game I won't be liable for the pounding I give you."

"Fly, it was a bloody game," he seethed, matching his anger with her disappointment. "It was a bloody Muggle game, stop trying to turn everything into a Quidditch match! So I messed up, it was a GAME!"

"Well, to you it may have been only a game-"

"Fly, it was a game to everyone else. If you want to blame someone for ruining something, blame yourself for making it uncomfortable. Everyone was having fun until you started taking things too seriously." He groaned, moving to his dormitory.

Entering the room he shared with his friends, it was empty, save for Peter Pettigrew and Edgar Bones.

Peter was none other than the fourth Marauder, and had arrived this morning via Portkey to Hogsmeade.

It seemed, his new baby sister had taken ill, so he wasn't able to catch the train and had sent an excuse for his late return.

"Hey Prongs," Peter smiled while folding a shirt.

"Nice to have you back Wormtail," he replied, falling backwards onto his four poster; his eyes shifting to the ceiling.

"Do you know where the others are?"

"Padfoot's taking a shower from our game, and last I saw Moony, was at breakfast."

Peter's membership as part of the exclusive group was misconstrued to most. Most felt he was inessential. If one deconstructed The Marauders to their base components, four male friends, it is easy to agree with most of the school. While Sirius, James and Remus stood at respectable heights, had thin builds, were various ranges of athletic, and demonstrated superior skill in their own rights, Peter did not fit. Peter was short, only a few inches taller than Fly, slightly overweight, overly nervous, and with no specific talent. His blond hair was cut close to his head, in the shape of a bowl, his eyes watery blue, and everything about him seeming round and imprecise. Many of their peers wondered why The Marauders even bothered with this mediocre mate.

But the boys ignored their peer's ill-informed observations. Peter's reputation with strangers held no grounding in reality. James, Sirius and Lupin would trust Peter with their lives, his loyalty never wavering, even when commonsense forced him to run. He may not have fit the group in appearance, but in a group such as The Marauders, fidelity and discretion reigned.

"What's wrong with you?" Edgar asked aloud.

If anyone was looking for a more fitting substitution for Peter, they would finger Edgar Bones. Edgar had shared the same room with the boys from first year. Born to a well respected wizarding family, like James and Sirius, he demonstrated spectacular skill in Charm work. He was smart and reclusive, hanging out with a select group of friends and preferring not to stray from his comfort zone.

Many people believed that Edgar would have better fit the role as the fourth Marauder. He was tall, lanky with shoulder length shaggy blond hair and thickly cut sideburns. His eyes were blue and framed by oversized glasses.

Perhaps it was his good breeding that kept the Marauders from ever considering him in their antics. Considering how long they had been flatmates, Edgar still remained oblivious to their exploits. He slept like a rock and didn't insert himself in other's business, indicating that he had no interest in what they were up to.

And it was that incessant curiosity that made a Marauder.

"It's nothing, just Delia," James groaned, flipping over to his stomach. "She's being a major bitch again, and today it's getting on my nerves."

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Tiger," Sirius grinned, grabbing the muffin from her hand and taking a bite.<p>

"Die," she groaned, grabbing another muffin and shooting him her patented Lily glare, daring him to try again.

As soon as Sirius entered the Great Hall, about one-third of the female population took notice (the male population wasn't counted, this being 1976), hoping to catch his eye. Her platonic friendship with The Marauders had long been established, but didn't serve to quell the glances of derision whenever she was in their presence. Especially in the years since the boys had hit puberty and had become more skilled at their handsomely debonair veneers, there was an unrelenting tension between most of the female population and Lily, Sunny and Fly.

"Tiger Lily, why so glum?" he grinned, knowing full well that Lillian Evans was not a morning person. In fact, one morning, after he'd thoroughly annoyed her, she'd made that point crystal clear by bewitching away his mouth.

"Padfoot," she smiled, sweetness dripping thickly from her tightly pulled lips, "if you don't shut up, I will shut you up."

"Fair enough, lovely," he grinned, taking another bite of her first muffin.

Just then, Fly, Sunny, Remus, Peter and James entered the room, making a beeline for her and Sirius. While Lily's glance at their approach held for less than a millisecond, James's hand had already gotten lost in his hair.

"Hey guys," Peter said while spooning eggs onto his plate.

Sirius snatched a piece of bacon from Lily's plate and munched.

"Sirius, if you ever want to keep your hands, I'll advise you to stop taking from my plate," she groaned. "Steal from Sunny, she's not liable to eat half of it anyway."

"Hey," Sunny called, affronted by Lily's implication. "I might… eventually," conceding to reality.

"Here are your schedules," Gia Briggs, half of Gryffindor's newly appointed perfects said, handing them blank schedules. "You should line up now, if you want to make it to class on time." She indicated the small queues of sixth years consulting with their head's of houses over class schedules, O.W.L. results, and concentrations.

No one said anything as Gia moved away, and no one moved in the direction of Professor McGonagall. Without words the group acknowledged that they all were disinterested in starting the academic part of the year.

When the hall began to clear, and the line had significantly reduced, they finally relented, forming a queue behind Mildred Quiglesby.

"Ugh," Lily groaned, as they stood in a circle, some time later, comparing schedules. "Double Arithmancy this morning, followed by double Potions after lunch and Herbology. I don't even get Charms to start off my week!"

"Hey, that's my schedule too!" James beamed, grabbing the schedule from her hands. "In fact, that's my exact schedule. We've got all our lessons together!"

"Yay," Lily deadpanned, snatching the parchment from him and looking at her friends hopefully.

"Well I've got Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies this morning," Fly offered, "but I'll see you for Potions."

Lily pushed out her lower lip, pouting at Fly.

"Don't worry, Lils, Remus and I share your schedule, as well," Sirius grinned, loving her changing reactions, going from annoyed to stricken.

"Does anyone have classes on Friday?" Sunny asked aloud, after comparing a few schedules.

They all shook their heads after consulting their schedules.

"Does that mean all sixth years get a day off?"

They all shrugged. Sunny ran to a nearby group of Hufflepuff's and looked at their schedules.

"We all have Fridays off!"

"Whoo, hoo!" Peter yelled at the top of his lungs, causing a few raised eyebrows to be tossed their way.

"By the way," Lily asked, before they dispersed per their schedules. "Who got an 'Outstanding' in Herbology?"

Sirius, Peter, Sunny, James and Remus all raised their hands.

"Well," she faltered, surprised by all the raised hands. "Well- well good. I'm going to need someone to tutor me. I got an E in Herbology and my Mum went ballistic. My O.W.L.s arrived the same morning I blew up the alarm clock. She said if I didn't receive a perfect N.E.W.T. in Herbology, she was going to erase me from existence."

"Well, why worry now? Sixth year is the bridge year to the N.E.W.T.s." James responded.

"I know," she sighed. "But she's a botanist. She can't understand for the life of her how I didn't get top grades in Herbology. She was so mad, making me work double in the flower shop this summer with reduced pay!"

"But Muggle Herbology isn't the same," Sunny began.

"I told her I'm not dealing with poppies and geraniums. I kept telling her about Devil's Snare, Mandrakes, and Gillyweed, but she kept yelling and saying no matter what, I should have passed. And she said something more about growing being in my blood and shaming the family by failing at its foundation."

"But you didn't fail!" Sunny tried again.

"But I didn't get perfect either, in the only subject she'd count," she reopened her schedule to check the Arithmancy class time.

Peter took her cue to check his watch,

"Guys, we gotta' get going, we don't want to be late for our first lesson."

"That's what you think," Fly groaned, grabbing Peter's arm and leading him toward Care of Magical Creatures.

"Don't worry, Lily," Lupin wrapped his arm around her shoulder, leading her toward Arithmancy. "I'll try to keep the peace."

She groaned aloud at his empty promise, having too much familiarity with Lupin's attempts at controlling his friends.

TBC…

A/N: Everyone's together now… How do you like it?


	4. Corridor Collisions

Why Lily Fell

By Yo-yo

A/N: I decided to release this as a gift: Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa, happy belated Eid al-Adha and happy Holiday (for those Pastafarians). I know that does not cover all the bases, but I hope you can appreciate the sentiment and apply it to all.

* * *

><p>Corridor Collisions:<p>

"Mr. Snape, is there a reason why you've chosen to grace your very first N.E.W.T. Potions class in such a state?"

Slughorn's question quelled the din of the newly assembled class. Everyone turned to look at the door, and snickering reanimated them.

"Excuse me?" Snape ripped his eyes from the scrap of parchment he'd been perusing.

Louder snickering followed his confused look in the direction of the professor.

"Well, I never thought you the pink, blue, and purple type of wizard," Slughorn explained.

Lily had been engrossed in her copy of the Daily Prophet, but upon catching the end of Slughorn's remark, she swiveled around in her stool, only to catch her breath and cover her lips to muffle a few escaped giggles.

Severus Snape's once black, greasy hair, waxy, pallid skin, and colorless lips had been bewitched to resemble some sort of harried go-go dancer. His hair was now an obscene shade of pink, fluffed in a bouffant and curled outward at the ends, his eyes seemed as though they'd been attacked by an eye shadow brush, the blue color stippled imprecisely in the eye region of his face, and his lips were unevenly circled with purple lipstick, resembling a clown's smile.

Grabbing the outstretched compact from a fellow Slytherin, Crist Berry, anger flushed the skin beneath the color, and his eyes moved first to James, Sirius, Peter and Remus, sitting in the back of the class, then quickly to Lily, who looked away, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Who did this?" the words slowly escaped his clinched teeth, his eyes back to The Marauders.

Lily, along with the entire class, followed his gaze to the four boys settled easily in their seats.

Comically, they all were tilted backwards, an air of nonchalance marking them guilty as they seemed to be lost in their own innocuous pursuits, oblivious to the situation.

"Potter," Professor Slughorn implored, quietly. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

Starting at his name, James offered huge, wide hazel eyes to the Professor.

"Excuse me, Professor? I didn't catch that. I am engrossed in the introduction to the Redigo Draught," he began, emphasizing his puppy-dog expression. "Did you know that Epstein Katan first successfully bottled the solution? Everyone before him kept using the wrong containers, and as the solution seeped out or dissolved them, they would accidentally come in contact with the solution, shrinking before they could find the suitable container. Fascinating!"

"Of course I do," Slughorn straightened as if offended by the insinuation. "But I would like to know if you had anything to do with Mr. Snape's sudden predilection toward rouge."

James finally turned to look at Snape, faking an expression of shock as he rocked precariously in his tilted seat.

"Blimey! Snape, what an improvement to your face!"

"Mr. Potter," Slughorn began, testily, as Snape made a move in their direction. "Mr. Snape, please."

"Well," James smirked, eyeing the impotent Snape before quickly glancing at Lily and running his fingers through his hair. "Would you like the truth or would you like the TRUTH?" he asked, emphasizing the latter to demonstrate its distinction.

"The latter would suffice," Slughorn answered evenly.

"Although Snape's cross-dressing appears an impr-"

James's admission was unable to be heard over the roar of students' hysterics. Apparently, James's choice of wording, specifically the words "cross-dressing," prompted an inactive charm that began to inflate two round mounds under Snape's robes.

"A significant improvement," Sirius agreed slapping James a five at Snape's inflating breasts.

James in response breathed on his fingernails, buffing them on his robes, smugly admitting his work.

Turning away from the scene, a mixture of disappointment, annoyance and anger pressed Lily further into her seat.

James was never going to change.

Over indulgence in his upbringing had left him overly confident. Ever the show off, his arrogance was never more apparent until he was practicing his favorite pastime, condescending someone.

James was skilled at exploiting people's flaws. He'd done it a million times.

His particular rivalry with Snape seemed most cruel. James didn't care that Snape's means weren't as vast as his own. It didn't occur to James that working hard, as Snape did in his studies, was nobler than flaunting his gifts, as Potter did without shame. It didn't even seem to matter to James that perhaps Lily's old friendship with Snape was grounded in the fact that what she admired most about Snape were the things that put him in opposition to James.

James's haughty showmanship put a bad taste in Lily's mouth.

In his essence, he was no better than Snape. He had no problem hurting someone who stood in his way. He felt no empathy for the cruelty he inflicted. He found no issue with treating anyone as he saw fit. This apathy came so easily to him. He seemed to enjoy putting other people down and exposing their faults.

Sure they had ended their friendship last term, when she had finally become unable to overlook the darker influences that caused him to call her a racial epithet, but he was still a human being.

And she still felt sorry for him, no matter how cruel he'd been to her.

He'd always sat by himself, from that first day when they'd been sorted into different houses. He'd mask the loneliness by pouring over his studies, always lost in one book or another, but she saw. He had no real friends. Even his fellow Slytherins, Mulciber, Avery and Nott, weren't really friendly to him. They didn't associate with him after classes, in the corridors or during free periods. When he sat at the Slytherin table during meals, with three hundred students surrounding him, he still seemed so utterly alone. No one stuck up for him when The Marauders played their vicious pranks on him (anymore, she had before). No one seemed to acknowledge the he even existed. He fought alone for a place that no one seemed willing to offer.

And their peers reveled in their rivalry. They were too brainless to check their laughter and find out why they used James's and Snape's hostility as entertainment.

She'd found their complete dislike macabre for the whole of the time that she'd known both boys.

Everyone was still laughing at The Marauder's joke when an idea struck her. Pulling her back straight and letting a secret smile curl her lips, she allowed herself to look back at The Marauders again. Her eyes swiveled back to James, Remus, Peter and Sirius. They were all leaning back in their stools with anti-toppling charms keeping them upright. James was still buffing his nails on his robes, the picture of innocence. Remus's nose was buried in a book, suspiciously oblivious to the commotion in the room. Peter was looking around the room, whistling the chorus to Geist Heist's "Magic in my Attic." And Sirius had stretched his long legs before him on his desk with a look of boredom consuming his beautiful eyes, beneath the curtain of black hair.

Mumbling quietly under her breath, she pointed her wand at the precariously tilted quartet.

Suddenly,

CRASH!

The entire classroom erupted in a new wave of hysterical laughter.

James, Sirius, Peter and Remus had simultaneously crashed down, ruining their cool façade.

Lily stifled the laughter rising within her. She loved their looks of total confusion as they struggled from their fallen positions and straightened their seats.

"That was hilarious!" Mildred grinned, looking back at Lily.

"You'd think Potter would have thought to put an anti-topple charm on his chair." Lily frowned slightly, her smile too big to actually fake the emotion.

"Class, class," Professor Slughorn called, within the sea of laughter, "Calm down please. We need to start lessons. Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin, detention after dinner, you know where."

Snape shot them a withering glare as Slughorn flicked his wand and the pink hair, caked on make-up, and still-sprouting breasts were returned to their initial greasy hair, paled skin, and scrawny frame.

The Marauder's nodded whilst reciprocating Snape's glare.

* * *

><p>"Today was easy," Lily grinned, popping a chocolate frog leg into her mouth, "No homework."<p>

"For the first day back, today was pretty uneventful," Sunny grinned, having heard about the Marauder's fall sometime during the day.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing," Fly declared, "if Potter and Black think they are going to lose it on a broom like they did in Slughorn's class, then they've got another thing coming. I'm not coaching a team of losers."

Lily and Sunny both rolled their eyes.

That had become Delia's mantra over the past few months.

Delia Flynn was the only girl on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and made sure that everyone knew it. When Ravi Khan- last year's captain- had passed over the title, she'd made it perfectly clear that just because she was a girl it didn't mean that she would be in any way sympathetic. She'd also made it perfectly clear that Delia Flynn's team was going to be the best Gryffindor team in Hogwart's history. She even began a rule that if existing team players didn't excel during tryouts, she'd exchange the players for "better" ones.

"You're too obsessed with Quidditch," Lily said, tearing off the frog's head.

"Just because you're not interested in flying doesn't mean the rest of the world can't be. I'm sorry I'm not so interested in lose-ball!"

"It's football, and it's a great sport!" Lily frowned, sucking the melted chocolate from her finger. "If you're going to mock me, then I'm not going to teach you that charm I created for playing Muggle records."

"I'll be nice!" Fly squeaked.

She loved Muggle music.

* * *

><p>"You guys are late." Fly stated as James, Sirius and Peter settled into their seats at Gryffindor table.<p>

"We're sorry, MOTHER!" Sirius frowned, simultaneously spooning mashed potatoes and leaning over her for the pitcher of pumpkin juice.

"Your hair is mussed and you've got lipstick on your neck," she observed, "and a newly blooming hickey."

"Blimey!" He groaned, settling down the pitcher to feel for the hickey with his hand. "I told her to stop. Merlin, she gets on my nerves."

"Then why do you waste your time with her?" Lily asked, not knowing who they were talking about.

"Because she's willing and I'm able." He replied, filching a piece of broccoli from her plate.

"Guys…" Lily sighed, "a life form I'll never understand."

"We're not at all difficult to get, Lily," Remus shot her a knowing look. "We'll do anything to get laid. It's you girls that are so bloody difficult."

"So that's why you guys are all late?" Sunny asked, taking a spoonful of Sirius's mashed potatoes.

"No," Peter piped in. "Sirius and James were snogging in the corridors. And I had to finish a letter to my Mum."

"Why couldn't you wait until after dinner?" Lily asked, seeming unfazed by James's escapades with an unknown girl.

"We've got detentions with Slughorn. He'll be less accommodating if we're late."

"I guess you guys are used to it," Sunny began, "but I'd freak if I got detention on my first day of lessons."

"Actually, it's our first time," James managed through a mouthful of bread.

"Ewww, James, close your mouth when you- Wow! She hoovered you!"

"What does that mean?" he asked, turning to Lily.

"On your neck! She sucked on you like a hoover." She said, turning him toward her and touching the angry hickey forming on his skin. "Man, I've never seen one that large. Even when Petunia came home late that one time, after curfew and my parents found a huge hickey on her shoulder- it wasn't that large! Merlin, you must taste really goo-"

Her eyes grew wide as she caught herself before she said what she was just about to say.

"I mean, she must have really liked you," she moved her fingers away and sat forward, facing Remus.

"What was that Tiger Lily?" Sirius asked, his cheeks full of food as his mouth stretched wide in a grin.

"N- nothing! I just, I just said that she must have l- liked him." She faltered, her eyes falling to her food.

"I'm sure Potty, here, wouldn't mind giving you a private tasting." He whispered in her ear, just loud enough for both parties to hear.

"Oh God!" she groaned, her cheeks aflame as she clenched her eyes shut, praying she was only trapped in a dream. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" she whispered to herself, willing herself back in her four-poster, with all the probing eyes gone.

"Are you admitting that you dream about me?" Potter murmured from her other side, a small smirk curling his lips as he watched her body trembled softly in his close proximity.

"So, what's a hoover?" Sunny offered, trying to alleviate Lily's embarrassment.

"Well, I'm full," Lily said, pushing away her plate and standing from her seat.

"You barely ate," James smiled, loving the way she blushed.

"I'm sure she's just picture you and Sirius snogging in the corridors and it upset her stomach," Fly said, standing herself. "It's definitely turning mine," she frowned turning to Lily. "Shall we be off?"

"Indubitably, old chap!" Lily grinned, hooking arms with Fly and leaving the Great Hall.

* * *

><p>"What was that in front of your house?" a familiar voice overtook her as she stood in the corridor, inspecting the etchings on one of the armor costumes.<p>

"Excuse me, I am on official perfects business, and thus wouldn't like to be disturbed. If you have a complaint-"

"You've been avoiding me," Snape moved into her line of sight and continued, "That stunt he pulled in Potions the other day, doesn't offend you, but I get cast aside?"

"Who do you have a problem with, me or Potter?" She kept her eyes trained on the suit of armor, her fingers running over the intricate details, "Because I can't control him. If you have a problem with me, I may be able to help you. But if this is really about someone else, please direct your inquires someplace else."

"You've been avoiding me."

"That's not a question."

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"You've just insinuated that you know something about me, you should know the answer to that!"

"You're mistaken-"

"Should I keep you in my favor when you've insulted me, to my face, in public?"

"I didn't mean it-"

"But you said it, Severus…" She finally met his eyes.

"I was caught up in the moment-"

"And you couldn't think to censor yourself? If our friendship ever depended on censorship, it was never a friendship to begin with. If you felt the need, at any time, to censor that _rubbish_, then it probably meant that it was a sentiment you shared. And if it is true, that you feel that way, then your friendship with me could never have allowed an exception, thus, our friendship would have had to be annulled. I feel as though this isn't the first time we've spoken about this. And from what I can remember of the last time, I asked to be left alone. I was hoping you would at least give me that, after insulting my very existence." She maintained her even composure as Remus turned the corner and approached hearing range.

"Oh look, there's my friend Remus. He's just nipped to the loo. I was waiting for him. We are taking our rounds and I must advise you to head toward your dormitory. Curfew is approaching."

A look of confusion followed her last few words to Snape as Remus stood beside her.

"Lily, are you alright?" He asked as she kept her eyes trained on him, away from Snape.

"Yes, a Slytherin chose to keep me company as I waited for you. I was just explaining, although kind, the action was quite unnecessary."

Gathering her tone, Remus assumed her manner and spoke to Snape,

"Thank you, but I'm here now."

Snape's demeanor was not improved in the company of a Marauder, but the added presence did force him to retreat, but not before uttering,

"Your decisions will have dangerous consequences."

"What's he on about?" Remus asked, also in the process of watching Snape depart.

"I haven't the slightest…" Lily frowned, the confrontation affecting her more than she let on.

* * *

><p>"Shit!" she gasped, jerking her hand from the Virulent Vine.<p>

Its razor sharp leaves lunged out at her, catching her arm and leaving a large, angry gash in its wake.

"Miss Evans, are you alright?" Professor Bloom asked, his magnifying glasses making him look overwhelmed in the ocular department.

"I'm fine," she managed between clenched teeth, holding her arm out for him.

"Fortunately for you, these vines haven't reached maturity. They are nowhere near as potent as they will be in the spring. Mr. Potter, will you please escort Miss Evans to the Infirmary?"

"Sure," he jumped up from his lounging position, setting aside his YWM (Young Wizard's Magazine).

Following her from greenhouse number three, Potter placed his hand on her lower back and led her toward the Nurse's quarters.

"Now, Lily Evans, why would you be fooling around with a Virulent Vine anyway?" He asked as they made their way to the second floor.

"I wasn't fooling around with anything," she groaned, wiggling from his grasp. "I was trying to follow instructions and juice them. We need the essence for our Veritaserum for Potions next week."

"But the Vine was lashing out at you-"

"That's kind of their deal," she breathed.

"Why didn't you ask for help?"

"I didn't need anyone's help-"

"Merlin, that's your bloody problem, id'nit?" James whispered virulently.

Taken aback by his outburst, she couldn't help the visceral reaction that laced her voice with anger and surprise,

"What?"

"You never ask for help. Lily Evans is so hell bent on doing it all on her own, no matter how willingly others are to offer their services. That's why you didn't get an O in Herbology last year, you kept-"

"I don't ask for help, Potter, because I don't need help. Especially from the likes of you!" she countered, her eyes flickering green flames.

"And why not me?" He was gaining momentum, anger and something else turning his eyes that uncategorized dark color that they became when these moments erupted between them. "And to think of the way you spent your summer, all because-"

"What?" Her eyes narrowed at his implication. "What do you know about my summer?"

"Fly told me."

"Told you what?" She stopped in the middle of the corridor to face him.

"She told me you spent the summer working for your Mum, not because of your O.W.L., but because you had to pay your parents back for the wand they purchased from Ollivander last winter…"

"What business of that is yours?"

"It's my fault…"

"How is it your fault that the wizarding economy doesn't favor Muggles? How is it your fault that it's expensive to have a wizard in the family?"

"It's my fault because I broke your wand."

"I broke your lip, it was a fair exchange," she laughed, "And it wasn't like you grabbed my wand to break your fall…"

"But I could have paid for it. You didn't have to spend your summer like that-"

"What's wrong with how I spent my summer?" She frowned. "I know that it's unfamiliar to you to have to work for anything, but it's what I do. It's where I'm from. That's how my family-"

"That's not the point, the point is, you'd do anything, including spend a whole summer working to pay back an expense you should never have incurred in the first place, instead of ask me for help," the irritation returning to his voice.

"James-" she began, frustration rising from his insinuation.

"No, Lily, I've been wondering this for a long time now. I'm the top of the class and a fellow Gryffindor. Merlin, all of your friends are my friends. I am just under your nose. I've always been right here. Why won't you… what do you really think of me? Are you afraid of me?" By the end, his voice had taken on an eerie silence; his yes looked down at her with a dangerous stillness.

"It's not that…" she whispered.

"Then what in the hell keeps you from actually acknowledging me as a human being?" He came back shouting.

She visually started from this flare of emotion, but in a moment, she had found her footing,

"Because in all of the time I've known you, you've never shown any predilection toward the human condition. You literally see others as non-essential. You actually believe rules don't apply to you. You proudly carry your pompous, ignorant and vile opinions toward others as though it's a badge. Where do you get off treating people that way? Who taught you to act as though you reigned in the halls?"

"I don't-"

"But you do… and you think no one can see." She was shouting, too. "…those bloody pranks! I don't know how anyone can put up with that egoTESTical affliction of yours! That stunt you pulled in Potions last week, it wasn't funny. It was mean. It was degrading and humiliating and I'm so sad that you think it's ok to hurt people like that. I find it so- God, infuriating that you would actually do something like that as a form of entertainment. Thank God I knocked you off your high pedestal. You'd probably still be grinning like a fucking berk for humiliating Snape like that!"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice low and cool now.

Lifting her chin and meeting his eyes, she stood taller before she said,

"I knocked you out of your seats."

"You WHAT?"

"You heard me, 'I KNOCKED YOU OUT OF YOUR SEATS!'"

"Why?" he growled, his eyes burrowing into hers.

"Because I-"

Before she could finish her response, her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted.

"Shit!" Potter caught her before she fell. "Double Shit!" he groaned, lifting her in his arms and speeding toward the Nurse's quarter.

* * *

><p>"Hey Lil," Sunny said, beside her hospital bed. "I heard you got hurt."<p>

"It's no big deal," Lily faked a smile, while pushing herself into a seated position. "Just a simple cut."

"What happened? James freaked out and won't tell anyone anything. Right now he's sitting in the common room staring at the fire. Did he do something?" Fly asked from Lily's other side, her brown eyes wide behind her glasses.

"We had an argument, nothing major." Lily pushed her curls from her warm face. "I guess me getting so revved up, coupled with the fact that I'd gotten injured by a poisonous plant just overloaded my system. I fainted."

"She said she'll only keep you for the night. You'll be up tomorrow," Sunny nodded.

"James is really freaked," Fly said, looking down at her friend, not believing for a second that she was fine. But she knew the subject of James was a sensitive one and didn't want to press her.

"Tell him I'll be fine. He didn't do anything to cause this. We can continue the stupid argument tomorrow." She groaned, not wanting to talk about Potter.

"Ladies, your ten minutes are up," Madame Pomphrey called, coming in to shoo the girls away. "Talk to her tomorrow."

After they said their goodbyes and left the room, Lily sighed and faced the wall. She had been wrong, she knew that. She didn't know where her anger flared from, or his.

Thinking back, she tried to recall a time when he'd made her mad enough to feel this way. But the only thing she could recall was something… something about snogging in the corridors.

TBC…

A/N: Hope you like it… Getting heated between these two… and going to get pretty hot soon.

With love,

Yo-yo


	5. Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

Why Lily Fell

By Yo-yo

A/N: I'm revealing myself here, I love naming chapters after music! I hope the music here is intriguing, it's all over the place, but all that can be revealed is Lily has great music tastes… Or maybe I'm just projecting.

Some of the slang and spells may be unfamiliar to you, as they are to me, I got them from Wikipedia. If you search "British slang" or "List of spells in Harry Potter" you should be able to understand some things that aren't explained, that will be helpful for later chapters as well.

My last comment is a thank you to **Princess Juliet Rose**, **harrypotter554**, **Overalls Tintype** and **Eleonora's-Spirit**. Just like reading these fanfics makes you happy, getting reviews, especially constructive reviews, really makes the writer's day. I really like writing this story, and although it's not all about the reviews, reactions are very helpful.

If you can leave a review, I would be really thankful. I want this story to get out to as many readers as possible, and I know the combination of the description, rating, and reviews helps. If you like reading this story as much as I love writing it, please drop a **review**.

-Y

* * *

><p>Don't Think Twice, It's Alright:<p>

This was where he was meant to be.

This place where the moon's surface was so bright and near that he could just make out the Sea of Tranquility. Here, he felt so high up that he could reach out and grab a star. This place where the unrestricted winds whipped his hair wildly and his soul seemed to transcend his body and mingle with the forces that made up this world where he was meant to belong.

His stomach lurched, every time. It was a mixture of exhilaration with just an iota of fear. However, every time, even with the tiny sinking in the pit of his stomach, he thanked Merlin he was part of the world where this type of elation was possible.

"Potter!" Fly's voice bellowed, breaking him from his reverie.

"What?" He groaned, soaring down to her altitude.

"Just because you're on the team doesn't mean you can do what you want," she glared, "you've still got to tryout."

"Yea, whatever," he frowned looking down in the direction of the other players.

"James, I know you're the best player-"

But he wasn't listening. Instead, his attention was on the three huddled heads in the stands. A silent groan rumbled through his frame as he identified Lily, Sunny and Remus, all equipped with notepads.

Merlin, Lily looked beautiful, even then.

From her place beside Remus, he found himself unable to control the lust-filled appreciation that kept his eyes on her form. Her dark red curls seemed to shimmer from below, acting as his beacon in this dark. With the air still comfortably warm, she'd chosen only a pair of shorts and a tank to maximize her exposed skin. And Potter wasn't complaining, following her strong legs with his eyes, itching to bring his fingers to her long, exposed neck.

"What are they doing here?" he asked pointing. "I mean, she doesn't even like Quidditch."

Fly sighed, unable to identify his expression, but finally interpreting it as contempt, the sentiment they both currently shared for one another.

Ever since Lily had come back from her night in the Infirmary, Lily and James hadn't so much as looked at one another. Of course, their civility had been as "normal" as possible- meaning they barely spoke- but their tension was having a strain on everyone else. Sensitive to Lily's feelings, both Fly and Sunny had almost completely stopped talking to him and the other Marauders.

"James," she began softly. "What exactly happened between you two? First you guys were something sort of like friends, but now… you guys are back to where you were last year after her birthday. What happened?"

"Nothing happened," James frowned, looking away from the trio. "We had an argument, and then we stopped talking. In the past five years, how many times has that happened?"

"Well, that's what I don't understand. Why has it happened so many times in the past five years? What do you guys have against one another?"

"Against?" he asked, his eyes rose in surprise. "I have nothing against her. It's her that has the twelve foot pole up her ass! Merlin, everyone knows I'm fond of her, including her, and yet she still insists on treating me like trash! _Snivellus_ gets off better'n me."

Fly watched him as he looked everywhere but at the girl sitting below with the flaming red hair, and inspiration struck her.

She looked down at the girl who'd sworn to hate James, as realization dawned on her.

"She fancies you." She whispered.

"What?" he asked, turning to Delia.

"What?" she asked looking up, not realizing she'd spoken those words aloud. "I didn't say anything," she lied.

"Yes you did, you said, maybe she might fancy me." He insisted, his eyes burrowing into hers.

"N-no I didn't," she frowned, his dark eyes making her falter.

"Delia Flynn…"

"Ok," she sighed, failing under his penetrating stare. "I'm not sure, but sometimes… sometimes it's as if there's something she isn't saying. Sometimes, it's as if she knows something that she'd rather not. She is scared of something, I don't know what, and you can't quote me… but it may be her feelings for you."

James turned and looked down at the trio in the stands, his eyes falling on the redhead.

"…I told her she was afraid of me…"

"What?"

"I told her she was afraid of me, and that's what made her mad." He closed his eyes, and opened them to look at Fly, "Could it be true?"

"I dunno, but maybe," she turned away from him, moving toward the other players. "C'mon, we've got tryouts to conduct."

* * *

><p>Lily stared up at the moon, basking in its silver glow.<p>

The celestial satellite hadn't reached fullness yet, but Remus was already getting antsy.

Tomorrow, Remus would be escorted from class, and carted off to the Shrieking Shack, under the guise of visiting his sick aunt, Flo.

Yes, she knew.

In the beginning of their third year, a week after Professor McGonagall had introduced the class to Animagi, Lily found herself learning more about the wizarding world, and The Marauders, than she'd ever thought possible.

That night, after Lily had sneaked up to the tallest Astronomy tower, one of her favorite spots on campus, to watch the sunset, she'd heard a rustling in the chamber beneath her.

That incessant curiosity, that got her in more trouble than she liked, caused her to turn on her stomach and peer through the crack in the trapdoor. There, she gasped silently at the appearance of four boys, who appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

As they pulled apart and pulled a few candles and snacks from their sacks, Remus pointed his wand at the door beneath him, sealing it with an Imperturbably Curse, never thinking to place one on the trapdoor above.

With that, they'd deemed the room safe, lighting the candles and making themselves comfortable on the floor.

"Did you guys hear Professor McGonagall in Transfiguration the other day?"

"Yea, cool, id'nit?" the all agreed, as James took a seat between Peter and Sirius.

The tone of the boys conveyed fraternity, but the ambiance of the room foretold something mischievous. There was something about the way the candlelight distorted their faces that kept Lily's breath still.

"Well, it's been stuck in my head ever since she said it. Do you guys think we can do it?"

"Do what?" Remus asked cautiously, his brown eyes dark as they regarded James.

"Well, become Animagi." James answered, as if it were one of his most intelligent ideas.

"You want us to become Animagi?" Peter asked, his watery blue eyes skittered over each Marauder's face.

"Yea-"

"I'm game," Sirius said, without missing a beat, a smile settling on his face at the thought. "I could use a challenge."

"What?" Remus exclaimed, almost jumping up from his seat. "Why in the hell would you even consider it? Didn't you hear McGonagall? She said that Animagus transformations have been known to go horribly wrong-"

"…turning yourself inside out, being permanently covered in fur, only half turning yourself so you look like some wrong centaur, killing yourself… blah, blah, blah," Sirius deadpanned. "It was the most interesting lesson to date… I still agree with James, we should-"

"How can you possibly agree with James? He hasn't even said anything worth agreeing with! He always comes up with cockamamie schemes, and this one is the most outlandish, not to be outdone by its aspect of danger." He turned to James. "Why would you even consider this?"

"For you," James shrugged simply, smiling as though already anticipating Remus's reaction.

"What?" Remus asked, his brown eyes opened wide.

"Once every month, you've got to suffer under the moon in the Shrieking Shack, alone. Three days later, you're always terribly hurt… Maybe we can help you. Maybe we can make it a little easier for you to go through this. And just mayb-"

"And just maybe you'll get yourself killed. Or even worse, you could be bitten."

"We won't get bitten," Sirius waved away Remus's fear.

"And how do you know that? How can you be truly sure?" Remus turned to him. "Did you even think how I'd feel? Did you even-"

"I thought you'd be ecstatic! I thought you would love getting to share your experience with us, when before you'd been by yourself. I thought-"

"No offense, but you think like a berk, James," Remus began. "You thought I'd want to put my friends in danger? You thought I wouldn't be upset, fraught with an insurmountable feeling of guilt if something had gone wrong and I accidentally bit you, cursed you to the same life I live? You thought I would risk you guys' expulsion? Ruin your lives? Have to explain to Dumbledore and your parents why I've disobeyed the rules of my admittance and in the process turned you guys into snarling beasts? Turn everyone who had ever accepted my 'furry little problem,' as you call it, against me? Make them **all** re-evaluate, my, OUR, station in the wizarding world? Really, James, you thought I'd get behind this?"

"You're too pragmatic," Sirius leaned over, punching him in the arm, Lily suspected to dissipate some of that released tension.

"Yes, both dramatic and pragmatic, you prat!" Remus shot back.

"Look, I've been doing some reading on pack mentality," James pulled a book from his sack and offered it to Remus. "A few ethnographies and studies have documented how well you guys socialize when out of isolation. This one anthropologist, M. McKinnon, she notes that in the wild, your people have been noted for your hunting skill and cunning. In fact, she says except for those random fights for dominance, which none of us would ever challenge you to, your people are no more dangerous to humans or animals than, say, a hippogriff."

"In the wild, James. In… the … not wild," Remus struggled for the opposing term, "In 'society,' we're known to wreak havoc. I don't know if you've ever noticed Hogwarts or Hogsmeade, but they aren't epitomes of-"

"The forest- I thought that could be our stomping grounds. There are loads of magical creatures there, stuff to chase, make you feel like you're in the wild… And we could assume the role of your pack. Just think about it… Read up." James pushed the book into Remus's hands and grabbed a cracker.

"Yea man, open your mind," Sirius mimicked a "hippie."

"Remember man, save for Lily Evans, Potter would never sacrifice his good looks for someone else," Peter snuck in the jab. "He's not taking this lightly; you aren't just anyone."

"Shut up, you arse!"

"Are we thinking the same thing?" Sirius peered around James to grin at Peter.

"Ya, that jinx she put on him in Charms?"

"And how easily she escaped reprimand? Classic."

"All, 'this is tricky wand work, Professor Flitwick. How was I supposed to know that the Slug Vomiting Charm was preformed similarly to the _Anapneo_ charm?' 'It's so very hard to distinguish a forty-five degree angle from a forty-seven and a half degree angle, as the spell specifies.' 'I'm only following directions, Professor-'"

"And that look of pure innocence, she should teach a class on it!"

"James would be the first to sign up for private tutoring sessions," Peter kicked his legs from beneath him as he rolled on the ground laughing.

By this point, Remus had let down his guard, recognizing his friends' tactics at relieving the tension and joined in.

"How she catches you off guard like that, I'll never know," he grinned, "But she's quick. No wonder she's on the top in Charms… she always has you to practice on!"

Remus, Peter and Sirius all erupted in another fit of laughter so great that soon, they were rolling on the ground, clutching their sides with tears rolling down their cheeks.

"Shut up!" he groaned, pushing his black hair from his forehead.

"You gotta' admit," Remus said, only upset with James a few moments ago. "You gotta' admit, that came out of nowhere. You were just as bewildered as everyone else before Flitwick preformed _Prior Incanato_ on all of our wands."

"SHUT UP!" James growled, his eyes brown flames.

Finally, after many long moments, they finally calmed down and decided to leave.

Lily was relieved, but her mind was also reeling from the new information.

Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

Remus Lupin, the boy she usually sat up with, studying and discussing wizarding politics. Remus Lupin who'd told her many things in confidence. Remus Lupin who'd been her first male Gryffindor friend, was a werewolf.

She'd been so consumed in the new information that she'd forgotten to be more careful leaving the tower and ran into a very solid… nothing.

"Lily?" Four voices gasped in hushed whispers.

Sighing, she trudged behind them toward Gryffindor tower, mentally preparing herself for interrogation.

As soon as she climbed in after them, she was met with four pairs of blazing eyes: two blue and two brown.

"I-"

"You heard us, didn't you?" James accused.

"N-no," she lied, but cursed her own failed attempt at trickery. It was her famous Evans' eyes: they always gave away her lies. Those damned, almond-shaped green eyes always revealed whatever she was feeling. There was no use in her ever lying, with those huge, expressive orbs, even Veritaserum was a waste.

"Lily?" Remus said, his eyes wide and she felt her heart break.

"I-" she sighed, looking away from them. "I- I didn't mean to. I was just watching the sunset and suddenly I hear you guys come in the trapdoor and I just… froze."

Her eyes flickered back to his, growing wider at the tremendous fear in his eyes.

He wasn't only scared. He looked hurt, betrayed. Someone he'd considered a friend had spied on him, as if she didn't trust him… as if she didn't know him.

And she had learned his deepest, darkest secret.

"I- I'm so sorry, Remus," she whispered with a small and watery smile. "I didn't mean to do that. I- I didn't know what to do!" she trapped his gaze. "You're my friend, and I had no right to spy on you. But… but I guess I always knew…" she grabbed his hand, "You're a werewolf."

All four of them started, Remus wrenched his hands from hers, as though she'd uttered an obscenity.

"I- I didn't know they were real." She said, her eyes burrowing into his, beseeching him to forgive her.

"How-?" Potter began, but stopped.

She was Muggle-born. She didn't know werewolves existed, which meant she didn't know the stigmatism that surrounded their kind.

"Lily-" Remus's shock broke, taking her in a hug.

"I won't tell anyone. I'm so, so s-sorry. I thought… Muggles use them to keep their children in at night. Only once have I heard a wizard reference them, and that was to keep people away from the Forbidden Forest. I thought it was just a myth… I didn't mean to- God, I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to be you. Always in secret- God, I'm so damned nosy! My Mum is always telling me to be more considerate- and eat less chocolate- but she says I don't think about the ramifications- I'm so sorry!"

By the end of the night, she'd been sworn to secrecy and been made a silent member of The Marauders. Over the years, she'd kept many of the group's secrets. It was she that presided over their first Animagus transformations. It was she who'd helped them prepare, brewing the potion and perfecting the incantation. It was Lily who'd helped them pick their animal, and it was she who at first assisted Remus in trying to dissuade the Animagus endeavor.

* * *

><p>Gently blotting the moisture from her hair, with a fuzzy yellow towel, she stepped out of the perfects' bathroom, humming Van Morrison's <em>Brown Eyed Girl<em>.

With her eyes closed, she softly sang the chorus. It had been one of her favorite songs, which of course she'd never own up to in the real world. One Mother's Day many years ago, she and Petunia burst into her parents' room, singing it and bearing breakfast, effectively waking her mother and getting them both grounded.

Suddenly, she crashed into a very firm- something. When she looked up, she wasn't surprised- with her luck- to find herself staring into the most beautiful set of hazel eyes ever crafted.

"Evans."

"Potter."

They'd both breathed simultaneously, only to follow the acknowledgement with awkward silence.

It was obvious that he'd just gotten back from Quidditch practice. It'd been a week since tryouts and, of course, he'd kept his old position.

He stood before her, with his black hair plastered to his forehead from the rain, curling at the ends, quite handsomely. His face dripped with a mixture of sweat and rain, with small rivulets running down his rather long nose, making little drops at the end, which were rhythmically dropping to his soaked robes.

From first catching sight of him on the King's Cross Platform 9 ¾ after summer break fifth year, she could only describe James Potter as one thing: beautiful.

It seemed over the summer months he'd transformed into this… Adonis.

He'd hit puberty, and hell, it agreed with him.

He now towered above her, standing respectably above six feet. His body had grown strong and limber, nascent muscle sculpting his form. His beautiful face, with its square jaw and slim lines, had turned him into an object of admiration in the halls. But those weren't the things that drew her to him… what made her turn away. What made her run and sometimes stay in place were his eyes.

His eyes…

No matter how much he'd grown in person, he'd never seemed to lose that boyish charm that lit his eyes. His eyes were the only part of him that made her feel small at times and in other moments gave her strength. His eyes threw her into a tantrum, and soothed her to sleep. Their intensity made her care for him more than she wanted or cared to admit.

It was in his eyes where the reflections of the effects of his over-confidence, upbringing and genetic make-up collided.

He'd now become the prince he'd been raised to be, in stature, form and in presence.

It seemed ages later when they'd both broken from their trance and realized they were both standing in an empty corridor, wet and staring at one another.

"I'm sorry," they'd said at the same time.

In that moment, their eyes met, silently recognizing that truth.

Finally, as if she couldn't take the silence, she began,

"I had no right to blow up like that. I don't know where it came from. I'd blame it on the Virulent Vines, but I fear we've done this so often that that'd be a copout… I've tried to control my anger, but I guess something about us, triggers… I shouldn't have done what I did or said what I did."

"It's not your fault," he continued, never taking his eyes from hers. "I shouldn't have begun the whole conversation at all. As I play it over in my head, I have to admit, I was unconsciously goading you or something. I shouldn't have done that."

"So, we both agree that we said some hurtful things and we apologize?" she asked him, their eyes locked.

He took a moment to reply, his eyes entranced by hers. He felt as if his body was lifting from the ground, being sucked into her, her eyes acting as a wormhole and he knew he'd never escape their magnetism.

"Yea."

"So," she said casually, "I guess you're on your way for a bath?"

"Yea," he mumbled, his hands running through his damp hair. "Remus gave me the password, figuring I could use a soak."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," she smiled, tilting her head to one side. "Well, the water's great. Try the lavender scent, it's the lilac colored one, it'll put you right to sleep."

"Yea, I'll probably not do that," he offered a sincere smile, "I can't go around this place smelling like a girl."

"Yea, it'd hurt your dating prospects, I'd assume," she smiled, his infectious.

"So, uh, how'd you do on that last Potions exam?"

"I misidentified the dried ginseng root with a dried mandrake, effectively ruining my draught. Slughorn offered me an apology; apparently the seventh year that arranges his stores mixed up their boxes. But I should have known from the smell, I just assumed that it was a perfectly dehydrated mandrake. It was really a rotten root."

"I got perfect. My Mum sends a package with refreshed ingredients regularly."

"Must be nice, having wizard parents. They already know the ropes."

"Sometimes."

"Uh, are you excited for the Halloween Feast? I hear there will be a few parties all over campus, Slug Club, Great Hall and the fall N.E.W.T. formal."

"I guess," he shrugged. "It's always great, but the guys haven't decided on what prank we want to play on the Slytherins, so we're not there yet."

"Great, you're going to hex them again," she sighed, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"This is awkward, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Us, trying to be cordial, it's really weird, right?"

"Yea," she said, her eyes holding his. "Was it always this way?"

"I don't know."

"Have we ever been civil to one another?"

"Maybe on that first day, between the Platform and the Hogwarts Express?"

She wrinkled her nose, thinking back to that day.

"I never knew you then. I first met you on the train."

"Well then, apparently we've never been civil to one another. I guess, literally the first time we'd met, I'd offended you, then jinxed you and you vowed to hate me for life."

"Why did you do it?" she asked.

"That, I can't answer."

"Why not?" she frowned, looking away.

"Because I don't know. I just did it. Maybe it was random, maybe it was on purpose. But I can't go back to my eleven-year-old self and ask why. All I know is I did it and you've never liked me since."

"Well, have a nice bath… and watch out for Myrtle. I hear she's sweet on you and Moony says she's been on the lookout."

"Thanks," he moved his face in her line of sight, offered her soft smile, to alleviate her knit brow.

"Well then, I guess, I'll see you later," she moved away from him, a pseudo smile attempting to uplift her downward turned lips.

"Bye Lily," he whispered as she moved away from him.

"Bye," she called over her shoulder, continuing to blot her curls dry as she made her way to Gryffindor tower. Except this time, tears in her eyes as she softly began to hum Bob Dylan's, _Don't Think Twice, It's Alright_.

TBC…

P. A/N: I hope you really like this chapter, it's so fun to write this… their tension is building into something quite nice… believe me, in a few chapters, you're going to get your release. Happy times! Remember **review**!

With love,

Yo-yo


	6. Love and Hate

Why Lily Fell

-By Yo-yo

A/N: After this chapter, I will be changing the rating for this story to M, just to keep myself protected for some of the content in future chapters (and really the level of cursing I've already included deserves the rating). If you like this story, you should account for that in your search. Also, I am changing the description to better describe this story:

Lily and James have been at odds from their first ride to Hogwarts, but as their worlds and friends become forever intertwined, will she finally submit to fate? Setting 1976, England, the hair, the music, and the couple that changes everything. R & R!

BTW: Thanks for your comment, **Go. Marauders. and. Lily**, I've been re-reading all the books to save myself from another such mistake. And I've revised that part of the story. Also **jlbhox**, when I began writing this story, I thought the same… wouldn't it be cooler to know that Lily was a bit of a Marauder.

-Yo-yo

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><p>Love and Hate:<p>

"So, where is Frank now?" Lily asked, gently pulling the brush through the long, blonde hair.

"Well, he's doing some Head Boy stuff, but he's already spoken to Dumbledore and we've got this whole romantic night planned," Alice's grin widened, a permanent smile having resided on her face for a week now.

Sunny frowned, hurling her brush, frustrated by her own misbehaving hair.

"You are the luckiest person ever!"

"What do you mean?" she asked, watching as Sunny, instead, shimmied awkwardly into a pair of tight, navy bell bottoms.

"Well," she groaned, tipping herself backward on her bed so that her stomach became its thinnest. "You've got the greatest…" she pointed at the zipper with her wand and suspended breathing as the metal slider slowly advanced up her slightly slighter torso. When the slider reached the top of its track she fastened the button, and finally exhaled. Now that she was in her jeans, she could finish her statement. "…You've got the greatest boyfriend in the world."

Lily nodded in agreement as she brushed Alice's blonde hair to the side tucking it behind her ear.

Alice Avery and Frank Longbottom had been a couple their entire lives. Their relationship was one of envy at Hogwarts. Frank's love for the round, kind-faced sixth year couldn't be described as anything other than complete. They had known one another their whole lives, and it seemed they were bound by love, forever. From the first day that Allie had entered the Great Hall, Frank was by her side. By Allie's fourth year they'd given in to their attraction and had been a romantic couple ever since.

"Yea, he's dreamy," Millie added, her remark laced in sarcasm.

A down night for the girls, they all lounged about the room engaged in their own pursuits while the low volume of The Rolling Stone's _Sticky Fingers_ made for ambiance. Mildred was pouring over Lily's Muggle magazines, occasionally guffawing over the ridiculous fashions. Sunny was rushing about readying for a date. Lily was positioned over Alice, helping her primp for her night out with Frank.

"How's that?" Alice asked, perplexed.

Frank had been her best friend, her first boyfriend, her first love, hell, her first everything. She'd long lost the capacity to understand that all boyfriends were not like Frank. Not everyone was sweet and attentive to their partner's feelings.

"He's the sweetest guy ever," Sunny answered, a dreamy look on her face as she tried to explain. "He totally cares for you, and doesn't act like a teenage boy around everyone else. He makes you laugh and makes you cupcakes. He dances with you at all the school dances and always whispers sweet nothings in your ear. He doesn't care about PDAs, and is always there when you need him."

"Yea, every girl in the school is jealous of your relationship," Millie agreed, drawing her knees to her chest.

Mildred Quiglesby reminded Lily of Muggles's depictions of witches. Her long, stringy black hair fell down her back, past her bottom. She had dark, glistening eyes. She was thin and pointy, reminding Lily a little of Petunia, except she was considerably shorter, and seemed to drown in everything she wore. Although Millie appeared severe and unsympathetic, like most things in the wizarding world, looks were deceiving.

In contrast, Alice Avery appeared as open as Millie appeared closed. Her golden hair, welcoming smile and kind eyes matched her optimistic and sunny disposition. Her cherubic face seemed to soothe everyone, drawing them into her, with her soft, brown eyes solidifying her reputation.

"Has anyone seen my blue sweater?" Sunny asked, standing awkwardly in her brassiere.

"Didn't you loan it to Fly, last week?" Alice asked, as Lily wound a hair tie at Alice's nape, making a low ponytail beneath her ear.

"Yes, yes I did," Sunny realized, leaning over carefully to grab the closest t-shirt and pull it on before heading to the common room.

While Sunny dashed out the door, Lily lifted herself from her trunk to retrieve a box of electric rollers.

"I want what you've got," Lily sighed, as Alice touched her wand to each fingernail, testing colors to go with her outfit.

"What's that?"

"A guy whose devotion to me isn't dictated by his free time; Frank's love for you is always there, it always has been and it always will be. I want a guy like that, who can love me so completely, despite my many faults. I need a guy that can deal with my obsessive compulsive habits, but not comment on my inability to make my bed. I need a guy that challenges me, but also can make me feel so incredibly safe. I want a guy that can make me laugh, cry, hate and love him, sometimes in the same moment. I want someone who knows when to hold onto me and when to let me do my own thing. I want a guy that needs me…"

When she felt Lily relinquish her hair, she pivoted her torso, meeting Lily's eyes,

"What about James Potter?" Mildred asked for her.

"What about Potter?"

"Well," Alice began as Lily took her seat once again, and began to wind the curlers in her hair, tapping each with the end of her wand so they would begin to heat. "Everyone knows that he fancies you. He'd move heaven and earth if only you'd let him woo you."

"I don't know what you guys see, but if he truly fancied me, he…" her words trailed away, unable to admit anymore.

"So," Alice turned to Lily, gauging her reaction to her next question, "Do you admit that you fancy him?"

Too tired to engage in yet another discussion concerning James Potter, Lily turned Alice's head forward and simply said, "I hate James Potter."

Both Alice and Mildred gasped, whipping around to face their roommate. They knew that Lily was sensitive when the subject of James Potter was presented, but they could never have imagined such a callous response from her about someone who was kind of her friend.

"Surely, you don't mean that?" Millie frowned, her dark eyes probing.

"I will never fall for James Potter, he has long proven who he is and what he wants to be. I know it sounds harsh, maybe more than he deserves, but it is an absolute," she replied indifferently, placing the last curler in Alice's hair.

"Lily, James doesn't deserve that. You of all people, especially after Snape, should know that people have the propensity to change," Alice touched her knee.

"I've got my reasons," Lily sighed, standing up and pulling a record from her collection. In a moment, _Landslide_ by Fleetwood Mac filled the room.

* * *

><p>"Checkmate," he grinned, his blue eyes glittering as he looked back at James who was looking at him indignantly.<p>

"How the bloody hell did you do that?" James ejaculated, his eyes pouring over the chessboard.

"That, my man, is my secret!" Peter clapped James on his shoulder.

In a huff, James lifted himself from his place on the floor beside the coffee table and found a seat next to Artemis Planck, a sixth year.

No matter how dense Peter Pettigrew seemed, he was a Marauder in his own right. In fact, he was one of the best Wizarding Chess players in the whole school, even if very few people knew, seeing as he only played with The Marauders. He had a great mind for carefully calculated tact. He knew good timing and how to abort sticky situations. In fact, it wasn't that he shared a dormitory that made him a Marauder, but because he could devise and carry out some of the most intricate schemes with ease.

"Why the cross expression, James?" Artemis simpered, her voice heavy with suggestion.

"Missy," he pouted, taking her in as she arched toward him. "I lost a game."

"And James Potter never loses a game," she positioned her chest more prominently, "would you like me to massage your wounded ego?"

"I don't know," he grinned, cocking a brow at her phrasing, "How would you accomplish-"

Before he could finish his questions, she threw herself into him, attacking his lips and mussing his hair.

"Slag," Sunny breathed, noting the display as she exited the girls' dormitory. Making her way toward Fly she asked, "Hey Fly, did you borrow my blue sweater?"

"Yea," Fly answered absently, her eyes trained on the tiny broomsticks levitating above a miniature Quidditch pitch. She was trying to teach the two new recruits, third years Jacob Chandler and Ashley Tate, plays for the next day's practice (they were forced to cancel practice due to heavy rains). The two boys could barely feign interest as she rambled on and on.

"Well, where is it?" Sunny groaned, perturbed by Fly's inattention.

"I don't know," Fly replied, still concentrating on the little brooms, "Millie has it now."

"Couldn't you have at least told me before you lent out my property?" She asked, rolling her eyes. "I shouldn't have to chase down the things I let you borrow. I've got a date tonight!"

All four Marauders looked up from their respective seats in the common room. Padfoot and Prongs had both been making out with their respective "dates." Wormtail had been reviewing his game with James, reversing the moves to study strategy. And Moony had been retrying a potion he'd failed to concoct in the corner.

"With who?" Sirius asked, disregarding his "date" and walking toward her.

Fly looked up for a moment, her eyes following him as he placed an arm around Sunny's shoulder and gave her a friendly squeeze. Her eyes returning to the board when Sunny replied,

"Mercutio Capulet."

"Benvolio's brother?" Sirius frowned, obviously voicing his distaste of the Capulet clan.

"Yes," she sighed pushing back a stubborn curl, mentally reminding herself to snip it when she returned to her room.

"When did this happen?" Peter asked, watching her as she averted her eyes from the group and moved out from under Sirius's arm.

"Last night," she sighed, pulling on her t-shirt.

"Why were you with Capulet last night?" James asked, carefully pushing Artemis aside, as he entered the conversation.

Remus just stared, paused in mid-action, dripping far more Rewstalk tears into his Aging potion than was advised.

"Is that any of your business?" Sunny snapped, whirling on her heel and retreating to the girls' dormitory.

"What twisted her knickers?" Sirius knit his brow as he settled beside his snogging buddy.

"You guys always trying to interfere with her personal life," Fly offered, not looking up.

"Well, she should know better than to associate with the scum of the earth."

"Well, she associates with you jossers," she countered. "So, in reality she's taking a step up."

"That was uncalled for," Sirius frowned. "First Lily, then Sunny, now you? Are you guys syncing up or something? Sharing your periods?"

Delia jumped from her seat and stood over Sirius. Although Sirius stood above six feet, her entire foot length shorter was easily covered when anger took over her small frame, consuming all the space in any area.

Before he could force out some kind of makeshift apology, she bit into him, tearing him down to size.

"Dee, I just-"

"Just in case you're wondering, Sirius, it's not women's biology that keeps us steaming. It's your inability to maintain any semblance of civility with the girls you call your friends. We never throw the dossers you force us to deal with in your faces. We never complain when you wankers all take the piss out of us. We always come to your aid whenever you need us. But if we do anything: snog a bloke you don't care for, side with a person you don't approve of or appear as though we don't agree with your sense of entitlement, you all go aflutter like a couple of jessies! We should be asking if you're on your menses, you narrow-minded tossers! Next time you bring up the topic of a period I will rip off your tiny knob and feed it to a hippogriff!"

Dee punctuated "hippogriff" with a kick to the shin and went in the way of Sunny to her dormitory.

"Blimey!" Peter exclaimed, staring at the door Dee just exited through, "Can't be a coincidence, they must be on the same cycle."

No one laughed, for two reasons. One, everyone knew there would be hell to pay if Delia Flynn remained angry. And two, although The Marauder's appreciated Peter, he was still a bit of a prat.

* * *

><p>"What?" A feminine voice hissed.<p>

James spotted the small group of girls congregating at a nearby table, heads together as they gossiped.

He was looking for Artemis to ask her to dance with him. He had just escaped the stuffy Slug Club Halloween dinner and was looking to dance dirty.

Finding Artemis's flaxen waves, he made his way toward the table, hoping to come out with as little confrontation as possible.

"Yea, she was helping Allie get ready for her date with Longbottom and she just said it…" Millie said, in a voice much louder than a whisper.

"Lily Evans** hates** James Potter?" Another voice asked unbelievably.

Now, he was paying attention.

"I always thought she was just being a prude…"

"Yea, I always thought it was a front. From the way those two get on, you would think they were secretly shagging."

"Hey!" Artemis frowned at the other two witches, "I don't know how anyone could be capable of hating James."

"Well, she says she's got her reasons," Millie offered.

"It probably has something to do with all those pranks?" One of the girls said.

"He was pretty relentless while she and Snape were friends," Artemis nodded.

"But she stopped talking to Snape, I think; I haven't seen them together, have any of you?"

"No," the girls chorused.

"You'd think she'd realized how wrong she was about James after that incident, don't you?"

"Well, her loss," Missy nodded at her friend's comment, "At the rate James and I are moving by New Years I'll be wearing his ring-"

But before James could listen to any more of Missy's delusions, he'd whipped round and dashed for the dormitories, determined to confront Lily.

_She hated him?_

Hate was a strong word.

Sure, he knew that she despised him, that she was annoyed with him, that she'd disliked everything about him… but hate… that was something he wasn't prepared for. Hate was something he'd never wanted to confront.

He was just turning toward Gryffindor tower when a macabre snicker halted him.

Whipping around at the sound, a figure lurked in the shadows, with the whites of his eyes being the only discernable feature.

"That was an entertaining prank you pulled in there," a voice sneered, dark eyes revealing themselves.

Recognition mixed with relief flooded his system as he placed the voice. It was the same voice that had been taunting him since he'd arrived at Hogwarts. The voice had whispered hexes at him in the halls and called Lily a rude name last summer.

It was the voice of his arch-nemesis:

Severus Snape.

"So you like my handiwork, _Snivellus_?" James snickered, surreptitiously going for his wand.

"I don't know about _handiwork_," Snape faked a frown, "but I would like to thank you for giving me a reason to do something that I've wanted for a long time."

"And what's that," came James's retort, "Come to admit defeat to the wizard that has bested you, yet again?"

In an instant, both wands were drawn and the boys began circling one another while maintaining eye contact.

"When I said entertaining, I meant it. Your spell demonstrated no skill. I was not bested, I was merely taken unawares, a tactic I am employing now in reciprocation."

"This is your genius plan, meeting me in a dark corner for a vocabulary contest?"

"This is how you divert your adversaries, talk them to death? You don't seem so tough without your incompetent entourage. Where's that dimwit, Black?"

"Probably having a snog with one of the birds unwilling to show you a good time… But that could be anyone in the school; you know your reputation with the ladies." James's smile pulled wider at Snape's expression, "Oh, which one are you confused by, the concept of snogging or the nature of your reputation with the female population? Don't think your impressive vocabulary will get you anywhere. Going to a bird and saying, 'how'd you like to take a nip in a dark corridor and prodigiously perforate' won't get you a shag."

"Oh, I know what snogging is," Snape chuckled darkly, ignoring James joke at his expense, "It's that action you keep asking Lily to partake in, only… even a _Mudblood_ isn't stupid enough to fall for your-"

"Don't you ever say that name again," James roared, "You have no right to ever utter her name on your vile tongue!"

Soundlessly, Severus muttered an incantation, and with the crack of a whip, James found himself suspended, in mid air, above the lake with the giant squid. Before he could think to hold his breath, he crashed through the water's surface, the void swallowing him whole and the pressure pushing him closer to the bottom.

Involuntarily, he gasped in shock, inhaling a mouthful of the inky water, impenetrable by the far away lights of the castle. Struggling against the fluid darkness, he struggled to remember what his father had tried to teach him. It seemed Snape had pinpointed both of his weaknesses:

Lily and swimming.

It was his fault. If he hadn't transformed the Slytherins into heavy-footed Neanderthals, he wouldn't have been put in this situation.

Pushing against the liquid darkness, he could feel his lungs burn for breath and his head grow drowsy from fatigue. He'd never been a strong swimmer. Accompany that fact with his inability to orient himself, dread flooded his veins with ice water, cooling the warmth that had been protecting him.

It felt as if he were suspended in jelly for years, his body thrashing wildly until he couldn't go on anymore, his strength spent and his mind gone. Finally, his eyes submitted to the influence of the internal slumber stilling his pursuit.

"James?" a voice whispered amidst the darkness.

He could feel something compressing his chest, then releasing, in a feeble attempt at CPR. Then, the person to whom the voice belonged pushed back his head and blew into his mouth. But the mouth-to-mouth ended abruptly with a frustrated cry,

"I so don't know how to do this," panic lacing the voice.

In his current state, he couldn't recognize the voice. He couldn't speak and he couldn't open his eyes. In fact, his first display of life was the involuntary internal spasm that gurgled in his esophagus and he leaned over and expelling water from his lungs.

"Ewww…" the voice squealed, her squeamishness almost hilarious if the situation weren't so dire.

He couldn't protest as he felt a pair of arms run under his back and pull him upward by the armpits. He was being pulled over the grass when the person stopped, causing him to fall back helplessly.

"Oh, sorry…" the voice whispered. "Damn, I'm a witch. _Locomotor_ James."

Weakness finally overcame him and he blacked out.

* * *

><p>"Hey Prongsy, how ya' feelin'?" Remus asked, peeking through the curtain of James's four poster.<p>

James opened his eyes slowly, focusing on the unusual state of his body. He felt as though he was lying on a bed of fire, the back half of his body feeling like one swollen, purple bruise. He brought his hand to his hair, albeit soft and dry, the heat from the fire reaching every crevice of the room, everything that didn't feel like bruise felt clammy and cold.

"How'd I get here?"

Sirius lent a pained smile as he watched his friend try to lift his head, only to give up midway, as though it were too heavy.

"Sunny was out with Capulet and saw the whole thing. She came to your rescue, she sent Mercutio to tell us what happened… I should probably go and thank her for that fateful snog," he added. "Lily has been taking care of you since we got you in the building."

"Lily helped?" he groaned, the girls' conversation reverberating in his head painfully.

"She was coming back from Slug Club. She's been taking care of you… we didn't want to go to Pomphrey…"

"She doesn't need to-"

"Yes she does," Peter scoffed. "She's the only person who knows what to do when you get hurt. Granted, she does it the Muggle way, but it works."

"Tell her not to come back…" James tried, attempting to move his head again, but the dull pain throbbed inside, making him lie back down.

In a few moments, the muffled sound of footsteps arriving at the landing could be heard, and a timid knock followed.

"Hey, Tiger," Sirius whispered, opening the door to find Lily, her face reddened with embarrassment.

It wasn't the first time she'd been in the boys' dormitory, but every time it felt as if an offense. Every time that she entered, it felt taboo… as if she were doing something wrong and should be reprimanded. And with the added pain of being a perfect, the ethical issue of not taking points for her own mis-deeds kept the color on her face every time she entered.

"Thanks," she replied in the same tone, meekly entering the chamber.

She walked over to his bed, whose curtains had been drawn when the boys left him to sleep moments ago.

"How's he been?"

"In and out," Sirius answered, noting her look of concern. "C'meer," he muttered coming toward her.

Turning toward him, she let Sirius envelope her with his warm arms, soothing her tense muscles.

She didn't cry.

Lily wouldn't let herself.

But seeing James lying there looking so helpless made it impossible for her to conceal her concern for him.

"Hey," he whispered against her hair, "he's going to be alright. He's fine."

"Yea, I know," she sighed, pressing her head to his shoulder, "I know… I just get so… girly, I can't help it. It's in my genetic make-up."

"Don't worry."

"I can't help it," she groaned. "For some reason, no matter how hard I try to deny it, you guys are all in my heart, even that toerag. Whenever something goes wrong, I can't help but worry. I hate you all."

"We love you too," he smiled, placing a kiss to her forehead before stepping away. "I think we'll leave you two alone."

Peter and Remus nodded, moving from their respective places in the somber room.

"Yea," she said, ruffling her curls back.

"Just remember," Peter shot her a wicked grin, "that git wouldn't dare die before you agreed to go out with him."

"You know it's true," Remus surreptitiously whispered in her ear before pressing a kiss to her cheek and following Sirius and Peter out of the door.

"Oh, and tell Fly he'll be ready for practice next week."

"He'd better," Sirius called, "That's our first game against Ravenclaw, and they've been pretty good for the last couple of years."

Closing the door behind Remus, Lily approached the bed with caution.

Drawing the curtain vigilantly, she watched as he lay there, calm-faced and reverent. He looked like she would have imagined him as a little boy: impishly adorable.

"Lily," he breathed through the depths of a shallow slumber.

"Hey," she whispered, sitting on the side of his bed, placing her hand on his pale forehead, feeling for fever.

"What-" he began, lifting himself from the bed, then groaned as he gave up.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Lily?" he asked, this time turning his head to her, he wasn't wearing his glasses, so his eyes narrowed to focus on her.

"Right here," she smiled, tapping the sheets beneath him with her wand, causing a cooling sensation to pass over his back, then turning and piling more blankets on to keep him warm on top.

"You hate me."

"Excuse me?" she asked, finally meeting his eyes.

"You hate me. Why?"

She didn't know how to respond, so instead, she asked,

"Would you like some chocolate? It might lend you some strength?"

"I came looking for you. That's when I met up with Snape. I heard them talking… They said you hated me. They were saying that you said you hated me."

She put her fingers to his wrist, quietly taking his pulse as she searched for a safe response.

"I'm not sure how to-"

"Lily, why do you hate me? Why can't you ever let my past go?"

"James, you're not in the mind frame to talk about this." She moved away from him, writing the information on a scrap of parchment she had hung near his bed.

"Lily, I'm not who you think I am," James protested, sitting up and seemingly gaining strength from the exchange. "I've thought about what you've said. And I'm not like that. That person you're describing has never been me. I know what you think, but I'm-"

"You never said sorry," she finally gave in.

"Excuse me?"

"My first day here, you jinxed me in the hallway while chasing another student, and you never paused your chase to say sorry."

"All of our fighting over the years has been over something that happened six years ago?" he groaned, exasperation lacing his raspy voice.

"No, it's the germ that begat the disease," she frowned down at him. "I got hit by a stray curse. I was just collateral damage. Over the next six years I've seen you do the same thing to others."

"But Lily, I-"

"James, you didn't mean to hurt me, but you did."

"Lily, you weren't hurt-"

"James, how dare you say that? I'm a Muggle born, you can't possibly understand how important that day was."

"I didn't mean to deny your-"

"I know," she sighed, pushing her hair out of her face.

"But how could you say you hated me?"

"They got it wrong. I did say that I hated you, but I meant what I've already expressed. James, I can't get past your over-inflated ego. Frankly, it scares me. You hurt people, without acknowledging it and think, because you're charming, it'll negate the fact that you're cruel.

"I'd just left my family for the first time, lost my sister and best friend to this world, and boarded a train where people I didn't know where doing things I couldn't fathom… And on the first day I used my wand, the first day of being with people like me, a jinx fight erupted in the halls and caught me in the crossfire. I landed on the floor, my bag broke open and my tampons and diary strewn across the floor for anyone to pick up and reveal, and I couldn't even scramble to put them back in my bag because I was paralyzed.

"And you couldn't stop to help me, not even shout an apology on your way out… Who cares that it happened six years ago when the same scenario has been replayed so many times thereafter? I can't care for you because you've shown that you can't care for people like me."

Although tears brightened her eyes, she wouldn't allow them to fall. Instead, she left his bedside and disappeared through the door.

TBC…

P. A/N: I hope you liked this chapter!

With love,

Yo-yo


	7. Meditations in an Emergency

Why Lily Fell

-By Yo-yo

A/N: I want to begin with an apology. My laptop was down and because I never learned my lesson about backing up information, I couldn't access these chapters. Sorry for the long break, but hopefully this chapter will make up for it. Also, in my brief hiatus, I've managed to begin a new story, so look for something new by me soon… it is still lacking a title… so when that happens… Much fun will ensue!

Thank you for the reviews, some were quite constructive, others were flattering and one was basically useless. Thanks **Michael4HPGW**, **Jily123**, **EnchantedWords17**, **ariarox17**,** loving-arizona**,** NeatlyOverspil**,and** VentilatorsYelp**, thank you for the kind words, and enchanted, I hope the vocabulary isn't distracting, I do get carried away. If you guys have ever read Charles Dickens, you'll realize that he's one of my favorite writers, description and imagery drives me (I view the white space on a sheet of paper like expensive real estate that needs to be filled).

This is in reference to **wtf**, and anyone else who may have been confused by aspects of my story. Although I shouldn't have to mention an excerpt in the second chapter that was explained in the first one, I will. My characters usually call one another by their nicknames. It makes for believable familiarity between people who have known one another for 5+ years. Usually, when the character is introduced, save for the Marauders, whose nicknames were established in HP3, I usually allude to their various names, but I'll redo it here, just in case you've been confused:

**Delia Flynn**: Fly, Dee

**Soliel Benoire**: Sunny (soliel means sun in French, and Benoire is a French last name)

**Alice Avery**: Allie

**Mildred Quiglesby**: Millie

**Artemis Planck**: Missy

**Ciel Benoire**: Skye (ciel means sky in French)

**Rose Benoire**: Pinkie (rose is pink in French)

**Éclair Benoire**: Clarie (éclair means lightning in French)

**Petunia Evans**: Tuny (I know it's misspelled, but I originally wrote this story, still accessible on , about 5 years before HP7 came out, and in my first chapter I created the nickname. In reading HP7 where the name first appears, I speculated that JKR must have checked out my story and decided it was the perfect nickname for Lily's sister. Yes, I am calling JKR a thief, but only hyperbolically, because really, there aren't many nicknames for someone named Petunia.)

By the way, **Go. Marauders. and. Lily** (besides thanks for reviewing), I hoped that I'd described it better, but she's using the electric rollers as a receptacle of heat, and never actually uses electricity. She taps her wand to the rollers, heating them in that way. I reasoned that she had a short time to curl the hair, heat is the easiest way to manipulate hair, and as she's a Muggle, so using her electric rollers would be the best option. The regular rollers that we know, be it soft, hard plastic, or metal would melt or burn Alice's hair, and as electric rollers are engineered to take heat and be applied to hair. It just made sense she would use some Muggle ingenuity to overcome some drawbacks of being a wizard. (I know there may be tonics or something, Hermoine used special pomades to tame her hair for the Yule Ball, but that sounds icky to me when Lily has comparable Muggle options)

And just for shits and giggles, injecting as much 1970s references in a story about wizards makes me happy.

-Yo-yo

* * *

><p>Meditations in an Emergency:<p>

She delved further from the intricacies of slumber until she arrived just over the cusp of consciousness. With her eyes still closed, she allowed herself a few moments to bask in the warmth of her comforter, the well-worn cotton soft against her skin. A deep sigh blew from her lips as she resolved to wake beneath the warm folds, listening to the rhythmic sounds of her four roommates' breathing.

Last night's confrontation with James had unsettled her.

Just as they had begun to establish an understanding, everything shattered.

After the argument with James, she couldn't face the girls; she felt like she'd let them down again, unable to find that common ground that had for a time made their friendships easy. Instead of taking to her room after she'd left his, she retreated to the highest Astronomy tower and watched the Waxing Gibbous moon glow through the diaphanous clouds. When she finally felt safe of Filch and his new kitten, Mrs. Norris, she stealthily made her way toward Gryffindor tower, praising Merlin that the Fat Lady hadn't gone off.

She didn't cry.

She'd made a promise to herself a long time ago that James Potter wasn't worth her tears. He had not changed in all the time she'd known him. She'd long told herself not to dwell on what she could not change.

She just told the truth. She had finally told him… finally let him know what it has felt like to be on the receiving end of one of his _jokes_.

She told herself she mustn't cry.

But pressing her face onto the cool side of her pillow, a single tear broke her resolve.

She wasn't crying, she rationalized, a single tear does not make a cry.

Instead of waxing poetically about her current state of ennui, she got up.

Pushing aside the thick coverings, she was assaulted by the cool air stealing the warmth that had kept her insolated all night.

"Shit," she groaned, shivering involuntarily, her eyes snapping to the opened window beside Sunny's bed.

Sighing in resolve, she grasped beneath the covers, pulling an oversized grey sweatshirt over her cotton tank. Placing her feet on the stone floor, this time, she gasped in shock and immediately retracted them. Pulling her knees to her chin, she wrapped her arms around her shins and her eyes swiveled toward the fireplace. It seemed the wind had blown the fire out, causing the dormitory's stone floor to assume the temperature of ice.

She lifted her hands to her hair slowly, pushing back the tangled, red curls. Her clear, green eyes searched the floor for her fuzzy slippers.

In a moment, she spotted them on the floor beside Sunny's bed, the girl who'd left the bloody window open!

She looked for something else to put on her feet, but soon realized that everything required her to step from the bed onto the painfully cold floor.

"Sunny… Sunny…" she called.

She paused a moment, only to be replied with silence.

"Sunny… Sunny…" she called again, this time using the closest item she could find, which happened to be her wand, to throw at the drawn curtains and rouse the girl within.

But her endeavor was for naught as Sunny did not stir.

"Sunny!"

"What?" Sunny finally cried, stumbling out of bed.

"Oh shit!" Sunny gasped, jumping back onto the mattress.

Mornings like these, Lily was amazed at how Sunny could maintain her looks. She was somehow rumpled and refined at the same time. Her short, usually carefully arranged curls were twisted in a messy, devil may care heap atop her head. Her eyes, albeit glazed from sleep seemed to show brighter than normal. And her skin, not chapped and dry like Lily's in the relentless weather, but rather well-oiled and supple looking.

"Can you bring me my slippers?" she asked, with the most innocent voice she could fake.

"You want your bloody slippers?" Sunny asked, glaring at her from across the room.

"Yesh pleash," she turned to baby talk to alleviate some of Sunny's anger.

Lily and Fly had speculated years ago that the Benoire's were half Veela, being so impossibly beautiful at every moment of every day. All four of the girls were entrancing, which Lily and Fly felt completely unfair.

"You can have your bloody slippers!" Sunny reached down and grabbed the slippers, throwing them at Lily, aiming for her head.

Lily ducked and caught them easily, her years of softball preparing her for this moment.

"Thanks." A soft chuckle shook her shoulders as she slipped the shoes on her feet.

"Oh, go to hell!" Sunny mumbled, drawing her curtains behind her.

Placing her newly sheltered feet on the floor, Lily stretched, finally able to free her muscles from the residual tension of last night.

In a moment, she felt something fall to her head. She kept contorting her body as her fingers grazed over her curls, in a blind search, uncovering nothing there. Figuring the feeling was simply a figment of her imagination, she shrugged. Standing up straight, what felt like a fifty liter bucket of water gushed down on her, drenching her completely.

Giggles erupted from her "sleeping" roommates, and now all of their heads were peaking through their curtains.

"Bloody hell!" she screeched. "That was ice water! Which one of you slags did this?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sunny giggled, peaking through her curtains, "I think I must have misunderstood you, I thought I heard you ask for a shower as well."

With a mischievous glint in her eyes, Lily gathered her belongings and stalked toward the lavatory, grabbing her wand as she moved toward the door. Once the door clicked close behind her, the sound of four girls' screams pierced throughout Gryffindor tower.

* * *

><p>She let her head rest heavily against the scrubbed wooden table as she kept her eyes clenched shut. A migraine had blossomed in the shower and all she wanted to do today was sleep. Between schoolwork, prefect assignments, Slug Club and Potter's injuries, her night had exhausted all of her senses, and this morning her constitution was staging a revolt.<p>

She had entered the Great Hall hoping to feed the migraine, but couple the pain with the random high pitched squeals that kept assaulting her senses, it felt as though the pounding in her brain was amplifying. So instead, she pressed her forehead further into the wooden planks.

It wasn't only her fight with James and the migraine that resulted in her bad mood. Her bad mood had really begun the night before yesterday when Alice returned from her date with Frank with a glittering diamond on her finger. She had asked the girls to keep it quiet over the weekend, but today, she had finally revealed the news to the girls, hence the squeals coming from every corner of the Great Hall.

Today, Lily learned that the initial shock was just the half of it.

Lily knew that she wasn't bad looking, and she didn't have a bad attitude either, but her lack of male callers began to trouble her when Alice showed her the small stone that shown brilliantly, even in the candlelight. Ok, it wasn't her lack of male callers, she received more requests than she cared for, but the quality of her male callers left something to be desired. Of all the dates she'd been asked on this year, she'd only taken two seriously, one of those was with Adrien, her French tutor. At this rate, she was never going to have her own Frank Longbottom, as either wizard or Muggle.

She could be like Sunny, forever testing the waters, treading closer and other times farther away from what she really wanted. It meant that she was always in total control of her relationships, but always unfulfilled in what she really needed. Or she could take Fly's route and eschew all male attention because she believed they had no interest in her. Even Petunia's endless string of boyfriends paled Lily's fruitless attempts at male companionship.

Only twice she'd allowed herself to fall for boys' charms, and she'd learned from both experiences that she had shit taste in paramours.

She was busy, and driven, and had secrets on her plate. But it was sixth year and people were beginning to pair up. It wasn't the pairings that she craved, but a movement forward, toward a future. Sirius and James were going to be Aurors, Delia was looking to coach the Chudley Cannons, Sunny hoped to apprentice with a robesmaker and eventually own her own shop and she and Peter and Remus were without concentrations. Well, she had a concentration, officially she was a Healing candidate, but it felt particularly tedious, what she was supposed to be, but not what she was meant to be, if there was ever a difference.

Her musings were disrupted when at the usual time a parliament of owls flew into the Grand Hall, descending on the students, bringing letters and parcels. Today, Noctem, Lily's black barn owl, swooped in with her weekly missives from her parents and Tuny.

"Thanks, Noctem," she smiled, stroking the ebony owl atop its head and offered him a biscuit.

Unfurling the letter from her parents, she scanned her mother's words and a small smile curled her lips. It mentioned the usual: news of Petunia, Da's weekly advice, when the next parcel of chocolate would arrive, news of Douggie, Aunt Jo and Nana, and Mum's rambling about not eating all of the chocolate delivery and the importance of brushing after every meal (referring to Lily's second and third years when she had to wear those ugly, metal braces and was constantly being chided by the orthodontist about stuck peanuts and caramel).

Unfolding Tuny's letter, she smiled. Petunia had sprayed her perfume on the stationary with little petunias bordering the elegant paper. Letting the soft scent of Chanel No. 5 remind Lily of home, she perused Tuny's letter, which, like her parents, contained the usual: she and Peter had finished and she and Adam Williams were together. She rambled on about the impossible goals her teachers were setting for her, how the girls at her school were such slags, how she couldn't wait until Uni and how much she wished Lily was home so she could vent in person.

Placing both letters in her bag, she grabbed a couple of strips of bacon, a hardboiled egg, and a discarded _Daily Prophet_ and left the Grand Hall, just as The Marauders sat down to breakfast.

* * *

><p>"I need a massage," she flopped down on a couch opposite Lily, hours later.<p>

Lily looked up from the newspaper to see Fly lounge in front of her utterly exhausted.

Although Sunny held the title of most beautiful girl, Fly unknowingly held a nomination for the sexiest Quidditch Captain. It radiated most when she exerted herself. It had something to do with her dark skin glowing pink with exertion and glistening with perspiration. There was something about her moist, tousled hair, clinging and curling to her nape of her neck. With her eyes wide, and unobscured by glasses, she weakened knees. And in her gym clothes, clinging and accentuating her womanly curves, Fly after a workout was dangerous to masculine fortitude.

But in her intensity, she never did notice the power she held over the masculine resolve.

"Ask Sirius," Lily offered, "he's good at that kind of thing."

She wrinkled her nose, stretching feline-like on the couch,

"He's a jerk. I'm sure he's got better things to massage, the wanker. I won't keep him."

Lily grinned.

"Why do you look so put out anyway? Usually you're reeling from exertion, it makes you high."

"I twisted my ankle on our run today, why didn't you accompany us?"

Lily, Fly and Sunny belonged to a running group on campus. They, along with various other students, scheduled laps around campus several times during the week.

"I got caught up with the _Daily Prophet_, I lost track of time."

"Well Mary McDonald wanted to remind you about the prefects meeting later. And she offered a heads up, something about party committee sign-ups?"

"Ugh," Lily groaned. "I hate planning wizarding parties, all the details are always out of my scope of reference and the girls always get pushed into the job. Do you think Remus would volunteer to spend multiple hours discussing color schemes, themes and tweens with some mediocre looking witches?"

"If you could secure him a date with Sunny, I'm sure he'd do anything for you. It's a shame James is so badly behaved, he would be the perfect lapdog to your prefect."

"You know?" Lily chose to ignore Fly's comment regarding James.

"Please, Lily, why else is Remus giving her the cold shoulder? He's been in love with her for ages… I don't know why he won't say anything? They'd make an adorable couple."

"I know," Lily smiled at the possibility, then sighed, "How long are we going to freeze the guys out?"

"Sunny and I speculate we should give in after the Ravenclaw game. Once we win, the boys will try to settle the feud and we'll get free firewhiskey."

"Such smart girls," Lily grinned, "Getting free drinks from rich men, Daniel of Beccles would approve."

"Oh Tiger Lily," Fly smiled, reaching over to pat her on the arm, "I love that you pay attention in Muggle Studies."

"You have no idea who he is, do you?"

"The Prime Minister?" Fly guessed, shrugging away her ignorance.

"Delia Flynn, how will you ever learn if I keep doing your homework for you?"

"Hon, you only do my homework because you find it fun answering questions from the wizard perspective, ignorant of Muggle life. If you'd like to stop doing my work, I'm sure I can find another sucker."

"Stop being insightful, and leave your parchment on my bed."

"Good girl," she grinned, lacing her hands behind her head and lounging further into the couch. "One born every day," she breathed with her eyes closed.

"Now that you're done calling me a pushover-" Lily began.

"Maybe we should do something for them," Fly turned to Lily, interrupting her by returning to their previous conversation, "Like put a missed connection ad in the _Daily Prophet_ or something, you know how Sunny loves those types of romantic gestures."

At the mention of the _Daily Prophet_, Lily knit her brows.

"Is everything ok?" Dee asked, noticing her change of expression.

"Yea, I don't know, I was following up on the brief bit about that American Muggle politician, Harvey Milk- the _Daily Prophet_ needs to work on abstaining from judgment, by the way," she inserted. "But I keep coming across stories about fatal accidents; they're becoming more common recently."

"What nature, dark magic?" Fly yawned, barely interested.

"I'm not sure, the descriptions are vague and the articles brief. Of the two I found today, one was an accidental poisoning of a **whole** family and another describes a spell backfiring."

"Lily, don't worry about those things. They happen all the time. Witches and wizards not paying attention, keeping bad mojo in their houses and forgetting, and pretending to have the type of magic they never could. It's just a fact of life, what that Darwin fellow once said, thinning the herd or survival of the fattest and all."

"It doesn't concern you?"

"Not in the slightest. I get it, your empathetic, great attributes for a Healer, and terrible flaws for a Muggle trying to understand this world. If the _Daily Prophet_ isn't concerned, then neither should y-"

"Fly," she looked at her friend. "What if there is something to it? What if it is Dark Arts?"

"Remember that my father is an Auror, and so is Kerry. If they were something to worry about they would have-"

"The kind of stuff the Slytherins were dabbling in last year reminds me of this. Snape was reading all of these books… One of those curses they described yesterday, something about the victim looking as though they'd been 'slashed by a sword.' Snape says he created something similar-"

"I bet he did," Fly smiled, turning and facing her friend. "Look Lily. Snape has been in love with you forever now. When you guys were still close, he had this hope that someday you would fall for him. He would have said anything to impress you… and obviously, he did. I agree that Snape has some skill, but he was trying to impress you because you're amazing. Loads of witches and wizards have claimed ownership of curses that they could never have concocted for lesser reasons. Why would he be dabbling so deeply in Dark magic?"

Lily frowned, remembering what he'd said that night in the corridor,

_ "Your decisions will have dangerous consequences."_

"I haven't the slightest…" Lily frowned aloud, picking up the _Prophet_ to study the short articles again.

* * *

><p>"Faster, faster!" she bellowed, rage booming in her voice.<p>

He groaned, urging the broom faster, his head already banging from her shouting.

"Potter, I don't even want to see you!" she shouted. "You should be a blur to me and everyone in the crowd. They should be confusing you for the Snitch!"

Picking up speed, James ground his teeth together and shifted his broom. Since the incident with Fly and Sirius in the common room, she had been like a hemorrhoid on his ass. She'd driven them further than she'd ever done, and wouldn't let them perform less than she demanded. Practice last night had persisted for five hours because the rookies, Ashley and Jacob, hadn't seemed to grasp the freefalling concept. She kept the entire team until those two succeeded.

The next morning was their first game against Ravenclaw, and he was pretty sure he'd fall off his broom from exhaustion before the first five minutes were up.

"Potter!"

"My broom's not fast enough!" he finally snapped. "I'm sorry if I cannot be a blur, but my broom isn't fast enough!"

"Then get another broom," she retorted lamely, slightly taken aback by his seething tone.

"I'm sorry, but the Astro200 IS the fastest broom. I'm so sorry they haven't created a broom fast enough for your liking."

She'd been shouting for days now, he was surprised that her voice hadn't failed her yet.

Groaning, he reviewed the entire week. It had been hell. Lily and Fly had stopped talking to both he and Sirius. Sunny had stopped talking to all four of The Marauders. And Remus had stopped talking to Sunny. They didn't sit beside one another anymore. They now sat at opposite ends of the table during meals and in classes.

Even the limited interactions with Remus and Peter hadn't helped in bringing them any closer together.

James sighed to himself. Over the past few of years, he'd grown accustomed to having the girls around. During their first years the two groups hardly mingled, even though he, Sirius and Fly had been friends long before beginning Hogwarts, and Lily and Remus had become fast friends in their first classes. In third year, however, after Lily learned about Remus being a werewolf, the two groups sort of merged. Soon, they were almost inseparable.

The girls were always an unlimited resource for good advice, no matter how devious or serious. Their added talents made them all perform better in classes. In some cases, the girls were better allies than The Marauders themselves. They were always great to hang out with, in some ways keeping The Marauders out of serious trouble and making sure they didn't become too enthralled with their pranks.

He missed them criticizing the way that he and Sirius treated girls. He missed the way that they constantly argued over trivial things and how close they became when their friendship was tried. He missed the way Lily was quick to argue over simple ideas. He missed the way Sunny would pout just to get her way. One thing he wasn't missing was Fly urging him to do better on the Quidditch pitch… That was getting old fast.

A high pitched whistle screamed through his reverie and brought him down to earth (literally).

As soon as his feet crashed to the ground, he hurtled to the locker room, completely bypassing the rest of the team and ignoring Fly's post-practice wrap up.

The first drop of scalding water licked his bare back and immediately relaxed him. He let all of the stress from the day drain from his over-worked limbs and swirl down the drain.

Of course, none of the guys ever voiced their upheaval over the entire situation, but he could sense- feel- the awkwardness. It was on his skin, pricking the fine hairs on the back of his neck. Every time the guys suggested a new scheme, silence would follow, each one recalling a different memory of the girls reprimanding them and warming them of unseen dangers.

Letting the warm water drench over his head, he thought of the night when he and The Marauders had first become Anamagi. He remembered the way Lily sat on the ground before them, she and Remus cuddled beneath a warm blanket, reams of parchment strewn helter skelter and a mug of warm chocolate at her lips. Her wand lay on her lap, ready for whatever calamity may ensue. She had spent several nights with them before this, perfecting their pronunciations and wand work, concocting the various potions and arranging the ceremony. And that night, at the precipice of their transformation, she oversaw its success.

He remembered the trepidation in her eyes that she thought he couldn't see. He remembered the way she nervously downed chocolate after chocolate. He also remembered the way her face brightened with a mixture of amazement, triumph and knowing as they all stood before her donned in pelt and snouts. He remembered the way she'd affectionately placed a kiss to each of them, even Peter the rat. She even spent the night, snuggling in their warmth when the transformation had taken too much of all of them that they'd spent the night in the forest, in a tight heap on the soft clearing. He also remembered the tears in her eyes and the sadness that finally came when she realized all of this preparation culminated in an experience she didn't get to share with them.

Shutting the taps, he grabbed a towel and began to dry off. He knew he'd be hearing about his abrupt exit for hours once he left, but he knew Fly's threats were empty…

… as was his current state.

When he was eleven, he didn't know what he was doing.

He didn't know one day those beautiful green eyes would give him the look that struck him dumb with lust and wanting and esteem. He didn't know how important it was to be in her good graces, how he would someday crave her looks, her touches and her smile. His eleven-year-old self didn't know that she would haunt his dreams, her tears would cause actual pain in his body and that her disdain would reduce him every time.

His eleven-year-old self had robbed, unknowingly, his sixteen-year-old self of the chance to befriend Lily Evans, to pursuing Lily Evans, and to eventually be in love **with** Lily Evans.

And he regretted that stupid prank every day of his life.

* * *

><p>"Lily!"<p>

"… Joe Perry…" she moaned.

He stood before her, his tall, lanky body tempting her to reach out a hand and gently caress the firm contours of his chest. She wanted to press her body close to his and feel his arms wrap around her, holding her in an intimate embrace, wrapping her in security and warmth. She wanted to press her lips to his, brushing a prayer against his lips as he pulled her into a world of sheer and utter bliss.

"Lily!" the voice called again, faintly, but she just couldn't take her eyes from Joe's lips.

"LILY!" voices called, waking her from her dream

"What?" she groaned, quite rumpled, lifting her head from the pillow.

"Your bloody mirror!" Fly called through her canopy, "Answer it."

Not bothering to open her eyes, she reached blindly on her nightstand for the smooth, cool piece of gold and silver.

As soon as she flipped it open, James' voice was already whispering urgently,

"Lily, get downstairs now!"

"Ugh," she groaned, stumbling out of bed and out of the girls' dormitory.

In moments, she was standing directly in front of James Potter's levitating head- the rest of him concealed in his Invisibility Cloak- whose mouth currently hung open, shocked by her choice of bedtime dress.

"What?" she groaned, shoving her red curls from her forehead and shivering in the cold.

"You sleep in that?" he asked, his eyes traveling her body most obscenely.

"What are you-"she began but immediately flushed in embarrassment.

She was wearing only a thin, white tank top and boys' knickers which had little Spider-mans web slinging tonight.

"Those are boys' knickers!"

"Why did you bring me from my warm bed?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest remembering that they were fighting.

"We need you-" he began, but she cut him off.

"Why are you asking me? Go ask someone else!" she said turning back toward her bed.

"Lily, tonight's a full moon and Remus really needs you-"

"What happened?" she gasped, whirling around.

"I'll tell you on the way," he answered, glancing at her outfit again. "I think you should grab a jacket or something."

Rolling her eyes, she waved her wand and mumbled, "_Accio_ sweater, sweatpants, and Bitten."

Immediately tugging on the items, and tucking a small bottle in her pocket, she rushed after James, knowing they wouldn't have called on her unless absolutely necessary.

TBC…


	8. What You Can't Control

Why Lily Fell

-By Yo-yo

A/N: **Emily**, **Echantedwords17**, and **Go. Marauders. And. Lily**, thanks again. Your reviews have been so helpful and make me so so happy.

Also, my newest story, **Jagged Red Pill** is out. Here's the description:

Lily Evans has been quietly training to be an Auror for three years. Now that she's been accepted, Voldemort and his minions will learn that this recruit is one tough pill to swallow. Suspense/Adventure/Romance/Humor Rating: M

* * *

><p>Chapter 8- What You Can't Control:<p>

When they'd first snuck down to the Shrieking Shack at twilight it hadn't seemed any different than any other night. Under the safety of the Invisibility Cloak, The Marauders went from the castle, down the opening at the Whomping Willow, through the long passageway, to the door that opened to the Shrieking Shack.

Like normal, they'd begun their journey an hour after Remus transformed, giving him ample time to become reacquainted with the room of his transformation, and making sure that Madame Pomfrey was thoroughly settled in her office in the Infirmary. It was only as they made their approach when things began to get scary.

That was when they noticed the stillness in the passageway as they changed, making their way toward the door. For long moments, only hooves, paws and feet could be heard until the stillness was pierced by Remus's excruciating cries. With that, they rushed to the door, their hearts racing as they imagined every possible situation that could cause such a reaction, their hearts heavy with fear. The trashing, growling, scratching and bumping made the situation feel that much graver. Then suddenly…

Everything was quiet again.

There were no more screams. No more sounds of scratching. No more heaving, except the ones escaping their lips. No more of anything. Instead, they realized that they feared the silence more than the commotion.

As if inspired by an imaginary crackle of lightening, all three Marauders burst into action, reclaiming human form and began trying to break down the door.

In procurement of the property, Dumbledore placed security features on all of the exits. This particular door was outfitted with two locks. One lock could only be unlatched from the passageway, for Madame Pomfrey to secure when she came and went. The other lock could only be undone from the room, designed only for hands smaller than a child's, making so that no wizard, nor werewolf, could escape the building designed for solitude. Which is why after many moments that resulted only in bruised shoulders, Peter thought quickly, transforming into a rat, wriggling under the door and unlocked the door from the inside, a feat he'd done every night of the full moon.

When finally the door swung open, both James and Sirius stumbled in almost comically, but regained themselves quickly, and transformed back, in precaution of Remus's silence. Even in his current state, the menacing character of a werewolf when humans were present was never to be overlooked.

* * *

><p>The castle was still, frozen cold as if omitting them entrance through the deserted halls. The cold air pressed down on her chest, restricting her breathing so her breaths came out short and labored.<p>

The only sound came from their muffled footsteps and a weary wind echoing from remote parts of the castle.

"Potter!" Lily hissed, chasing the silhouette of his head as it floated swiftly down the stairs and through passages she'd never known existed (pretty sure that very few knew they existed). He ducked beneath tapestries, jumped onto invisible staircases and through hidden doors. She tried to remember each turn, each secret passageway, each animated object, and each curve, but soon found her brain overwhelmed with information that in seconds became inconsequential.

"Keep up, Evans!" James groaned, taking a hold of her hand and pulling her through the large tapestry.

"Where are you taking me?"

And suddenly, they were outside the castle.

"How'd you do that?" she gasped, turning in the direction of the Grand Entrance, the only entryway she'd known.

"Magic," he managed, dashing for the Whomping Willow, gripping her hand slightly tighter.

"What happened?" she asked as they scurried beneath the frozen limbs of the beautiful tree and entered the long, dark earthen passageway that eventually led into the Shrieking Shack where the boys usually spent the nights of the full moon.

"I dunno, he just freaked out." He explained, plunging deeper in the impenetrable darkness.

"What do you mean, 'freaked out'?" she said, his hand and the direction of his voice guiding her in the complete darkness.

"I don't know what exactly happened. We got to the door. He was bad, but quiet. Next thing, he's banging into the walls as though he's being thrown by some spirit. It was sickening, the thuds we'd heard, the noises he was making.

"I didn't know who to call. Madame Pomfrey would come, but I wouldn't know how to explain all this. Neither Pomfrey nor Dumbledore knows about us. And we're not supposed to know about the lycanthropy either. And I know that you've studied this stuff, because you plan on being a Healer and all…"

She stopped abruptly, letting her hand fall from his and absorbed the information. In a moment, she was yelling:

"No way! No no no no no, no no no! There is no bloody way in hell I can do this! I wouldn't know where to start! I warned you guys the night you transformed. I said, I wouldn't be able to help if you got yourself in trouble. Remember, I was so against this in the first place, this is so dangerous-"

"This is why you've followed Marlene McKinnon's work with werewolves since the day you learned about his fuzzy little problem. You know what to do. Stop doing that thing where you force people to undermine you so you can overwhelm them with your greatness. You're already spectacular, Lily. Please go and help your friend."

"Yesterday, I hated you."

"Lily, if you didn't know, the feeling was never reciprocated. Besides, I will always set aside my arrogance where the people I love are concerned," he felt for her hand and laced their fingers.

Thankful he couldn't see her expression, a smile touched her lips as she hurried past him through the entrance, pulling him behind her.

When she entered the room she found Sirius and Peter, in human form, sitting on the patched, overstuffed couch in the main room. Both boys had their eyes trained on a door off the room.

It was her first time in the Shack. Although she knew this was Remus's transformation headquarters, because she was unable to transform, she was never so much as allowed near the Whomping Willow.

The room was in complete disarray. The furniture was highly distressed, rips and holes pushing stuffing through every soft surface. Scratches marred all hard surfaces. In corners, up high out of the reach of the boys and their animal counterparts, there were breakables. Few doors led off to other rooms and perhaps a corridor leading to another exit to let them out near the Forbidden Forest, but with their eyes trained at one, she knew it might be the room of his transformation.

"What happened?" James asked, disrupting the stillness, causing both boys to start.

"Nothing," Pete whispered, his watery eyes skittering over the closed door that was ominously silent.

"It's scary, man," Sirius breathed, fear clouding his beautiful eyes. "He hasn't moved for like 15 minutes."

"What state was he in when you moved him?"

"He'd turned back to himself," Sirius breathed, "I don't know what that means."

"With the moon still out, that's bad," Lily shrugged, "although it makes it easier for me. He won't attack."

"C'mon," James said bravely, tightening his hold on her hand while moving to the door, building courage and breathing, "_Alohomora_."

The door clicked open.

Their eyes fell to the solitary figure, lying on the floor, only the slight movement of breath confirming life. Before anyone could say anything, Lily broke from James's steel grip and flung herself beside her dear friend.

"Remus, wake up!" she cried, tears tumbling down her cheeks as she leaned over him, gently stroking his beautiful face.

He was curled into a tight ball, like yarn, his limbs enfolded into one another, as if his body never ended flowing into the next extremity. His skin was almost a transparent white with angry scratches, bites and gashes glowing brilliant red all over his skin. His beautiful features were contorted into the most painful expression she'd ever seen, his lips molded into a frown so deep that it seemed etched in his countenance. He reminded her of a newborn, the way he curled in the fetal position, his body free from adornment and his-

"Can't you find him some clothes?" she barked, her cheeks burning.

There was scuttling behind her as she stripped off her jacket and wrapped it around his waist.

Grabbing her wand from her pocket, she conjured a small basin of warm water with a washcloth. Paying no mind to her observers, she began to gently clean his wounds.

"Do you need help?" James asked, watching her in awe.

She didn't hear him as her face leaned down to examine him. Her glowing skin was a clear contrast from her dark red hair, falling like a curtain over her face, hiding her expression. In a moment, she had tucked a side of her hair behind her ear, opening her countenance to James.

Tears held in her eyes as she glided the cloth over his skin, careful to clean the skin around his wounds, but not touch them. She cared for him with a reverence one would show only for someone deeply loved. How could he ever be jealous of her relationship with Remus; from the way she leaned over him, like a sister caring for her little brother, he knew she would never see Remus the way that James wanted her to see him.

James watched as she moved over his body, mentally noting each hiss and flinch, careful not to touch that spot again.

"Lily?" he whispered, finally.

She followed the direction of his voice, finally looking up at him. But for a moment she blinked, as if unseeing, forgetting for a moment where she was and who she was with.

"Lily, do you need any help?" James asked again.

She shook her head of the clouds, the situation registering itself again and a small smile touched her lips.

"Yea, sorry."

Turning away from Remus a bit, she conjured a piece of parchment and began to scribble a few words. Within moments, she handed a list to Peter and instructed,

"Wormy, can you filch these from Madame Pomfrey's office? And some fresh wrappings please?"

"Sure," Peter breathed, happy to have something to do. Pocketing the list, he grabbed James's Invisibility Cloak and turned to leave.

"Padfoot, you should go with him," James called out to Sirius, jogging over and mumbling a few words in his ear before turning back to Lily.

"Let's go," Sirius turned to Peter and they both left together.

When them gone, James took a seat beside Lily and watched her for a few moments, letting her ministrations hypnotize him.

Suddenly, a chuckle escaped his lips, causing her to start.

"What?" she asked with a small smile, his jubilance infecting her.

"You sleep in boys' knickers?"

She ducked her head and blushed prettily.

"You only have a sister, so why do you sleep in boys' knickers?" a few moments of silence and another chuckle escaped his lips along with the word: Spiderman.

"Douggie," she shrugged simply, a ghost of a smile passing across her face.

"Who's Douggie?"

Her beautiful eyes lit up when the words left his lips. Before he knew it, she was rambling away most animatedly.

"… he's my best Muggle friend, other than Tuny. I've known him nearly my whole life. He moved to our block when we were small, and he's the only person that Tuny and I agree is the best. For the years that I was friends with Severus, and Tuny and I were fighting, he was the voice of reason, beside my parents. He's the only other Muggle who knows about my being a witch, and I miss him." She finished with a sigh.

"Do you have feelings for him?" he asked, his emotions guarded.

"I did for a little while," she sighed with a wistful smile tugging at her lips, "but I was misguided. I thought that because we were close it meant we were supposed to be closer. He's so smart though, he realized long before I did that just because we were attracted to one another didn't mean we should date. But he was my first a lot of things; it only made sense that I believed him to be my first love…"

"Firsts?"

"He was my first male friend, my first Wet Willy, my first crush, and the first guy I ever hit."

"You mean I wasn't the first?" he gasped, feigning shock.

She grinned, thinking back to her last birthday when she'd left him on the ground with a fat lip, "Sorry, Bub."

"Why'd you hit him?"

"One day, he and the neighborhood boys were playing hockey- a Muggle game, played on the ground with sticks and a ball between two teams- and he would let me play. So, I got upset and popped him one. He had a shiner for a whole week."

"Was he upset?"

"I think he got over it in like a day, I think he understood why I was upset with him. But my Da handled it worse than the both of us. He was so torn when he found out. He was upset that I couldn't control my temper and that I had hit a friend, but also happy that I stood up for myself and wouldn't let a boy deter me."

"So why is it that you wear boys' knickers to bed?" James raised a brow.

"Douggie's parents both drive sick Muggles to the hospital in a special vehicle called an ambulance. Their shifts are long and could be at any time of the day. When we were really young, Douggie used to sleep over at our house regularly. When he began, he tried really hard, sleeping in shorts while we wore our pajamas, but for months we'd wake up and he'd be down to his skivvies, an unconscious effort while he was sleeping. Eventually Tuny and I started doing it too. My Da didn't know what to do at first. Eventually, because we were all pretty young and androgynous, we won the battle. Don't ever tell my Da that you've seen what I've worn to bed!"

"Ok?"

"He's been paranoid that that one allowance has been his biggest mistake as a father. He's been trying to break us of the habit for years now. I still have to convince him that while I'm here I wear the sets my Nana makes us every Christmas."

"Why do you still wear them?"

"They're comfortable." She shrugged.

"So, you said he was your first everything, but you didn't say kiss. Who was your first kiss?" he grinned, bringing her back to what he really wanted to know.

Remus began to groan and Lily thanked the heavens.

"Hey," she smiled when Moony opened his eyes, leaning over him and brushing his hair from his forehead.

"Lil-" he coughed, his brown eyes peering into her kind face.

"You've been scaring the crap out of us," she smiled, tears obscuring her vision. "Don't you ever do that again."

"Did I bite someone?" he gasped, his gaze skittering over her exposed top.

"No," James spoke up, a grin to his face. "Although I'm pretty sure Lils is going to bite you in the morning for disrupting her beauty sleep."

"No I wo-" she scolded, before remembering herself, "Ok, so maybe I will, especially after that prefects meeting I had tonight. Tomorrow, I'm signing you up for the party planning committee. You know how much I hate being woken up."

"Especially by this bloke," Moony's chuckle resonated from his throat like a rusty pipe.

"See, Moony, you understand my pain," she pressed a kiss to Remus's forehead.

James gave her a soft shove in the arm before Remus's face suddenly twisted in what looked like excruciating pain as his body spasmed.

"Let it out, vocalize your pain," Lily breathed, with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "Padfoot and Wormy are out getting your medicines. They'll put you to sleep and you'll wake up good as new, but depressed because you have to plan the winter formal."

"Tell them to hurry!" Remus groaned, pressing his forehead into the floorboards and gritting his teeth.

"Did someone say hurry!" a voice announced from thin air, and with the whoosh of the cloak, Padfoot and Wormtail appeared carrying a parcel of potions and a mug of something steaming.

"Chocolate!" she gasped, grabbing the mug and bringing the ambrosia to her lips.

"Good going," Sirius mouthed to James before placing the parcel before her.

In moments she'd moved beside Remus with a mug in one hand and undoing the parcel with the other. After pulling out the various tinctures, she set down the now empty mug and began to work. Sanitizing her hands with a quick charm, Lily began rubbing dittany into his wounds, ignoring the hissing sounds and starts from the stinging. As though she was familiar with such actions, Lily worked silently and attentively with her patient.

After treating his wounds, she put her hand in the pocket of the jacket still draped over Moony, and pulled out an ugly bottle containing a phosphorescent colored liquid. On the side of the bottle, the word Bitten was etched in the glass.

Instantly, Remus recognized the bottle.

"Is that-?"

She nodded, kneeling beside him, pulling the cap off the atomizer, pulling his chin so he opened his mouth and spritzing the solution on his tongue three times.

"What is that?" Peter, James and Sirius wrinkled their noses.

Sending James a hateful look before she replied,

"It's a diluted dosage of a concoction of something called Wolf Flower. It's believed to keep people from being infected if bitten by a werewolf, but that rubbish has never been proven. In her latest ethnography, _The Wolf Within_, Marlene McKinnon notes the more realistic medicinal purposes of the plant. I contacted her about it a little over a year ago and we've been corresponding ever since."

"You brewed this?" James asked.

"Marlene thought it was really cool what I was doing and wrote me the instructions and sent me some supplies. I brewed it last spring, it was the most difficult potion I'd ever attempted, but it was great practice for my O.W.L.s. Slughorn was sweet enough to allow me free raid of his stores and the utmost discretion."

"And the bottle?" Sirius asked, looking just as amazed as James and Peter.

"The girls are less likely to touch an atrocious smelling Muggle perfume than what could be mistaken as an Inner Glow potion," she shrugged.

"Here here," Peter covered his nose as it was still twitching madly as the stench lingered in the air.

"I had to send it back to Marlene to test its effectiveness and make sure it was safe for werewolf consumption, and when she sent it back, I told Remus about my work. It's one of the topics we discussed in my tree."

"You're brilliant!" Sirius leaned forward, wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed a hard kiss to her cheek.

"I'm not saying I told you so," James grinned from his place behind her.

She sent him another of her patented withering glares.

"So what do we do now?" Peter nodded toward the now slumbering werewolf, trapped in human form.

"Well, the concoction will keep Moony from turning for the rest of the night, which will give his body some rest. Tomorrow night, hopefully, the medication will keep the violent reaction at bay."

"Is it safe to leave him here?" Sirius nodded toward Remus's shivering body.

"I don't know," Lily frowned, "I don't know the normal procedure. I think we need to keep monitoring him, but I can't get back during the day; I have so much work to do. Can you hear me, Moony?"

But he was already too far gone.

"Thank you Padfoot for asking that very important question after I'd sedated the patient," she groaned, conjuring a stopwatch moving her fingers to his pulse and counting in her head.

"Madame Pomfrey will be checking on him in the morning," Padfoot offered her the useful information. "The procedure goes, she'll transform into a field mouse, as is her registered Animagus form, to unlock the door. She'll bring food, treat his wounds and lock the door for the next night."

"Oh no!" she frowned, looking at all of her hard work. "I'll have to undo everything!"

Sirius patted her back,

"Look, we'll undo the obvious things, like the dressings. You said the potion will give him some rest and calm the violent reactions, right? So we'll just remove the obvious applications of the dittany salve and bandages. He'll probably remain asleep until Pomfrey shows up and she can make him more comfortable. Uncomfortable and asleep is much better than uncomfortable and awake. He'll be alright. I'm sure he's had similar scrapes before we all were able to help. He'll be alright, thanks to your help."

Lily nodded, worrying her lip with her teeth.

If it was known that she or the guys were in the Shrieking Shack she was sure they'd all be kicked out of Hogwarts.

When they had erased all signs of them being there, including having to take back his clothes, the dressings and all medical supplies, they locked both sides of the door and made their way back through the earthy passage from the Shrieking Shack to the Whomping Willow.

When they finally reached the common room, Sirius and Peter went straight for their dorm, but not before nodding,

"Night guys."

Instead of heading to her bed, Lily collapsed onto one of the many overstuffed couches.

James watched as she eventually made her way to the edge of the couch and dug her elbows into her knees as she placed her head in her hands, burying her fingers in her hair.

"He's alright," he whispered, sitting beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders.

"I-" she sniffled. "I don't understand how you can do this once a month. Seeing him like that, he looked so vulnerable, so scared, so… pathetic. I couldn't take it. It was so…"

"Intense?" he offered.

"Yea," she sniffled again. "I'm so sad for him. It must be hell doing that once a month. I'm so-"

"He's alright. It scares us too, but he doesn't go through that every month. It was the first time since we've been with him. He's better when we're around. But I'm sure he's had episodes like that before we became Animagus."

"Don't you get upset? Don't you hate it that he has to go through that every month? All his life he's never going to be normal, that he's never going to get all that he wants? He'll never be completely happy?"

Brushing a few stray curls from her eyes, he gazed into them for a few moments before replying.

"It's not for me to get upset over. Sure, I wish for things to be different, but they aren't, and I can't get angry. He has to deal with it. In the end, I'm not always going to be around, but he will be, and he's the only that's going to have to carry that burden."

"That didn't help," she bawled on his shoulder, just as a new wave of sorrow engulfed her.

"Shh," he pressed a kiss to her forehead, their gazes locking as he leaned forward again.

His breath quivered as he exhaled slowly, heating her skin pleasantly before,

"James…" she breathed.

With that, they touched, his lips meeting that special spot on her neck, right below her ear, that spot that made her soft and pliant, making her body mold to his. In the moment that his lips brushed against her skin, her eyes fluttered close.

As if something had overtaken her, her fingers tugged at the bottom of his shirt, while her other hand climbed up his back, pressing him closer to her. Craving his heat, her body moved over his, settling herself on his lap, pressing her heat to his while her teeth tugged at his earlobe, her tongue leaving cool slicks against his skin.

Heavy breathing emitted from them as their bodies strained for closeness, his fingers unzipping her jacket, with his other hand beneath her, better positioning her warmth over his.

By the time their bodies moved horizontally over the couch, their mutual desires pressed them further in the cushions, losing themselves in feelings invoked by the other, skin lit on fire and unfamiliar feelings building in both of them.

She was so sensitive to his touch, his skin on her skin, she had somehow relieved him of both his tops, was building an unbelievable sensation in her center, causing her to arch her back, press her teeth into his warm skin and splay her fingers between his shoulder blades as she sought further friction.

She was consumed in pleasure, moaning, gasping, grasping, clenching and unclenching beneath him. The glorious friction being generated at their centers caused her to further arch into him, reaching for something she couldn't name with frustration coming out of her as moans.

It wasn't until the combined sensation of his fingers grazing the inside of her shirt, right over her nipple and the sensation of his lips finally finding hers that both realization and a shockwave of heat crashed through her system, caught her completely by surprise and she sat up, effectively throwing him off of her.

"What the-?" he cried from his place on the floor, confusion and frustration on his face and his hand in his hair.

"We can't do this," she jumped from her seat, her back to him as she tried to regain her breath, her body still smoldering with aftershocks.

"Lily, I-"

"I don't want to hear it, Potter," she interrupted. "I'm going to bed and forgetting his ever happened."

With that, she dashed through the door to the girls' dormitory.

TBC…

P.A/N: Please check out my newest story: **Jagged Red Pill** (Chapter 1 – Dog Days Are Over will be uploaded later this week).

R&R, please, reviews keep me going.

With love,

Yo-yo


	9. Where We Stand Now

Why Lily Fell

-By Yo-yo

A/N: This chapter is high on the drama/conflict scale, just a forewarning.

By the way, I was expecting some acknowledgement due to the excellent sexy time that happened last chapter and I got no reviews. I am sad, which is why I haven't updated in awhile, and if the response is the same, I may not commit so much of my time to this story. I have others I am working on. That makes me sad though… Please read and review… it's my reward for doing my job… if I can't get paid in money, reviews are an amazing alternative.

With love,

Y.

Chapter 9- Where We Stand Now:

"Why does she always run?" he gasped, jolting from sleep.

"Because you're a prat," Peter mumbled, rolling onto his stomach and resumed snoring loudly.

"You're always pestering her," Remus growled, desperately trying to recapture the dream where he slept as soundly as the night Lily drugged him with the Wolf Flower elixir.

"She finds you a bit conceited," Sirius groaned, punctuating his disgruntled reply with a pillow through the opening of James's drawn curtains and hitting James in the face.

"Sod off, buggers," he groaned, wrenching open the curtains of his four-poster and lumbering from bed.

This was the fifth time that he'd woken to the exact same dream and woken up with the exact same question. The boys were tired of it by now, having already begun to recite canned responses in the now nightly occurrence.

He'd run the scenario in his head countless times, and it always ended the same, and he for the life of him, couldn't understand why. Every other girl in the school swooned at his feet. They flirted with him in the corridors, they gossiped about him in the loos and they snogged him in abandoned classrooms.

But Lily didn't.

To Lily, James was not worth her time. She hated him and always took the chance to make sure he knew. She thought because he indulged in dalliances she was better than he. She always contradicted him. For some reason he was the bane of her existence, and he still couldn't understand why.

Scratching his bare chest, he tugged a shirt on his feet and exited the dormitory.

He'd done this every night since the full moon. Sitting across from the fire, he bathed in the warmth glow, a tight pain licking his skin enticingly as he stared into its depths, trying to understand Lily Evans in his head.

He knew from their first meeting he'd been a jerk to her. But when she had learned of Remus's troubles, they'd turned a new leaf. While he'd stopped playing pranks on her and Snape, focusing solely on Snape, she'd reserved her disdain for him until enough tension had built and she had an outburst. But those happened infrequently. Then the summer of fifth year happened, and he realized that he was in love with her. From that day on he'd made it known to everyone that Evans would someday be his, but for some reason, she wouldn't give him the time of day?

He'd asked her out a myriad of times. Hell, he'd even kissed her on her sixteenth birthday, and yet she still hated him. He had tried, in all the ways he knew how to let her know how he felt, but no matter how sweetly he treated her, she never gave him a chance.

He knew she was attracted to him. Her breathing hitched whenever they got close. Her touches lingered too. And that night, her body quaked beneath him as his fingers grazed her skin.

He knew she was lying to him.

But why couldn't she admit it? Was being into him so bad?

When he entered the common room, he found it deserted, save for Skye, Sunny's sister, who was intentionally painting in a corner.

The Benoire sisters were notoriously beautiful. They all shared those stormy grey-blue eyes, the dark, milky skin, long and lean bodies, and the dark, curly hair. Skye was no different, only being so close in age to Sunny, and having a similarly, celestially inspired name, people usually believed them to be twins.

But everyone who knew them knew just how different the two were.

Skye (whose real name is Ciel, the French translation for sky) was quiet. Her world wasn't of facts, but rather muddled in a hurricane of feelings. Although she had her small group of friends, Gryffindor prefect Gia Briggs, and Jordan Adan and Venus Andopolis, she was usually found alone, painting as she listened to the Wailing Widows (an old witch group).

Currently, Skye was softly singing "Riding the Broom" quite awfully as she leaned on her elbows and studied the painting from afar. She was wearing paint spattered overalls, and her hair was pulled away from her face with a bandana, he guessed so that she wouldn't her hair, but a long strand had escaped and was tipped with dried white paint. She was going to have to cut that off.

"Hey Skye," he said finally, not wanting to be rude.

Apparently she'd placed a spell on herself, cancelling noise, because she didn't even bat an eyelash in disturbance.

Coming behind her, he himself surveyed the painting. Staring into the piece, with her back to him he wasn't ashamed to admit he didn't understand it. There were myriads of colors placed methodically on the canvass, but the central theme of what looked like a pattern didn't really make sense to him. There were browns and greens and reds and purples, but he didn't understand how they fit together, how they created a concept.

"Hey Skye," he said again, this time placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Blimey!" she gasped, trying to catch her breath as she struggled back into her seat, still clutching her heart. "Don't ever do that again!"

"I'm sorry," he grinned, liking the way her eyes seemed to grow wider, and her face opened like a flower, effectively displaying her anxiety.

She blinked her eyes hard, and sort of nodded her head. Then, she turned back to him, her breathing still slowing itself down.

"What'd you just say?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Whatever, so why are you down here?"

"That's a nice painting." He replied trying to change the subject.

"Nice try, if you don't understand it, at least ask me to explain." She grinned, her breathing back to normal as she retrieved a towel from her back pocket and cleaned off the brush she'd been holding.

"You've got some paint on your face."

"Where?" she asked, beginning to wipe her cheek down with the hard, dry towel.

"Not there, there," he pointed, but she still got the wrong spot. After many moments of trying, he just gave up and took the towel from her hands.

"Here," he gingerly wiped the acrylic from her skin.

"Thanks," she whispered as she moved away from him.

"So, I don't understand the painting."

"Look closer."

He moved closer to the canvass, but it still seemed muddled together, a homogeny of random colors.

"I still-"

"Closer." She replied.

And then he saw it. Among the colors and shapes, he found people, dancing. Their bodies moved around the canvass in one movement, a communal, yet intimate dance. A long red scarf linked the tiny bodies together. They revealed something he didn't think he'd see.

"It's supposed to be abstract and literal. The most important lessons in life were created this way. You're not supposed to understand, but learn from your mistakes and attempt to understand later. Some people never understand. They never take the time to sit down and just be. They're afraid, always rushing, afraid to be alone, afraid to think, afraid to feel. They won't ever understand life."

He looked back at her. She was wiping her hands clean with the towel while taking in her own creation.

* * *

><p>He was roused by the obscene feeling of Peeves the Poltergeist blowing raspberries in his ear. Swiping at the little demon, James moved to a seated position. Apparently he'd fallen asleep in the common room, in the same corner that Skye's painting occupied.<p>

At the moment, Lily was standing in front of the tableau, the morning's fire making her skin glow. Her face was so close that she seemed ready to press her nose against the still wet paint. She stood there for a few moments with furrowed brows before she stood upright, muttering to herself:

"I don't get it."

And James finally realized something. No matter what he did, Lily would never care about him in the way that he needed her to. She didn't want him and never would, so what use was there in trying anymore?

… And that was the day that James Potter finally gave up on Lillian Evans.

* * *

><p>"… Chandler, Tate, have you tightened up your feint?"<p>

"Yes," they groaned in unison, hoping she'd forgotten.

"Ok, gather your brooms and let's get on that field," Fly grinned deliriously as the Gryffindor team assembled in the team room.

When they'd reached the pitch, James wasn't surprised to see that Lily wasn't there. But Sunny was sitting between Remus and Peter, smiling up at him.

Remus and the boys abided by the restrictions of their punishment until last night, when they couldn't take it. Not being able to take the girls freezing them out any longer, they apologized and sweetened the deal with the promise of firewhiskey (there was never any doubt that there wouldn't be a celebration tonight).

All that was left was for James to make amends with Lily, and everything would be back to normal.

Except, he had already decided that he wasn't going to.

He didn't care anymore. He wasn't going to bend backwards anymore for someone who refused to see him for who he was. In all this time, she never cared for him in the first place. Apologizing to Lily now would be a waste of his time because in another two weeks, they'd have something else to dispute.

It was finally her turn to apologize.

With the strident piercing of the whistle, he was in the air, leaving his thoughts concerning Lily on the ground.

"Great job, Potter," a group of Hufflepuffs smiled, patting him on the back.

He nodded in acknowledgement and continued his way toward Gryffindor tower, seeking his bed for an afternoon nap.

As soon as he climbed through the portrait hole, a deafening cheer erupted from the Gryffindors and he immediately held back a groan. Standing in the midst of the students, holding out a mug of butterbeer, was Sirius, celebrating with the rest of them, their defeat over Ravenclaw, 200 to 10.

"Bloody fantastic game you played, James," Sirius called from the crowd, one of his arms around Fly's shoulders as he rocked back and forth to one of Lily's Muggle records.

"You did a wonderful job too. But I'm going to take a nap," he called over the music, struggling to make his way toward the boys' dormitory.

"Anything wrong?" he asked, watching James's weary face as he reached the door.

"Just knackered," he replied, his hand on the knob.

"Do you need any company?" Artemis pressed against him, tipping her head to the side.

"Not now, Missy," he shook his head and disappeared through the doorway.

As soon as the door closed behind him, the loud music muffled and he sank down onto the first step. On the field he'd felt invincible, but back on the ground he remembered how diminished he was.

And now, as his eyes counted the number of steps between him and his bed, he felt incapable of even conquering those. But his reward would be his own expanse of mattress, warm and welcoming for him alone.

With a grunt, he lifted himself from the stair and began to trudge up the staircase, cursing whoever hadn't thought of installing the moving staircase like the ones leading to Dumbledore's office.

Two steps in his room, Lily looked up from Sirius's bed, her eyes wide as she looked back at him, as though she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She was sprawled out on Sirius's bed, parchment helter skelter as her finger held her place in the book opened before her, a chocolate quill between her teeth.

"Sorry," she mumbled, moving into a seated position, guilt lacing her voice. "Padfoot said I could use his bed, I assumed everyone would be celebrating and I figured this would be the only quiet place in the castle. I- I didn't expect… so, did you guys win?"

"You weren't there."

"I'm never there," she shrugged, pushing back her curls.

It was common knowledge that Lily's interest in Quidditch ended when the players left the ground.

"Well then why do you want to know who in the fuck won?" he snapped.

"Wow," she exclaimed, jumping from the bed onto the floor. "I wasn't fucking asking you if you'd gotten laid last night, which you obviously didn't- it was just a simple question."

"Well then pose that question to someone else on the team. I have no interest in entertaining your disdain in me any longer. So take your shit to the library, you know, that space designed for quiet?"

"What has gotten into you?" she asked with arms akimbo.

"Nothing, please leave, Lily."

"No, why in the hell did you just snap at me? What did I do wrong this time?"

"Just sod off," he mumbled, climbing into his four-poster and closing the curtains behind him.

But Lily was revved and ready for the confrontation. In seconds, she was behind him, wrenching the curtains open and yelling,

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Who do you think you are?" James asked, shooting off the bed, his face millimeters from hers.

"I asked first, you're the one that started this in the first place."

"I didn't start this. You started this one."

"And how did I do that?" she asked, screaming at him.

"What the fuck is so wrong with me?" he mimicked her tone, flecks of spit flying in her face.

"I don't know, ask yourself."

"I'm the top of the class. I'm the most popular boy in school. My family is wealthy. I'm not unattractive. I'm clever. I'm fairly nice. I'm going to be an Auror. Professors like me. I'm funny. All of those are good qualities. All of those are perfect qualities in a partner, but you never budge. In fact, I repel you! What about me makes you hate me?"

She blinked once, twice, three times before she seemed to understand.

"That's what this is about?" she whispered, moving back a step.

"When it comes down to Lily and James, that's always what it's about."

"But… I- I thought we covered this? In fact, isn't this the third time?"

"Well third time's a charm; maybe I'll be able to get it through my thick skull."

"James," she frowned, moving back another step, "I don't have anything against you… I've just never seen you that way."

"That's bullocks and you know it," he answered, "You won't let yourself see me the way I see you."

"Perhaps you're right," she nodded after a moment.

She couldn't deny what had happened many nights ago. When his fingers ignited her skin, his heat scorched her insides, and his lips incited a volcanic eruption inside of her, heat flooding her system and a quake rumbling through her epicenter.

"Have you ever felt that before?" he whispered, moving closer.

She looked up, her eyes catching his.

She couldn't tell him that she'd only ever felt that once before.

"I can't see how that has anything to do with… You're right, I won't see you that way." She said, going back to her old standby, unable to admit defeat, especially to James Potter.

"And why not? Am I really such a bad guy?"

"No James, it's just that I-"

"It's that you've never allowed yourself to see me in any way."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not your friend, Lily. I never have been. To you I am on the fringe in the group, they guy you have to tolerate because the others like me. I'm Peter to you! You've never been able to stand that I came with being friends with Remus, Sirius and Fly. I am nothing to you; why would you ever see me at all?"

"It's not like that James," she shook her head. "I always trusted you. You were always there for me when I needed you and I always thanked you for that."

"Yea, but when I've needed you, you've never been there for me. Hell, when I'm there for you, you completely forget about it the next morning. You barely even acknowledge me as a human being. Merlin, you've even told me that part to my face!"

"You can't do that."

"Can't do what?"

"Can't take what I say when I'm mad to heart. You can't trust what I say to you when I'm upset!"

"Lily, the only times that we speak to one another are when we're upset. Hell, the only times we're ever civil to one another are when we're apologizing. If you really do BELIEVE that we're friends, then we've got a pretty fucked up relationship. The only times we ever converse are when we're yelling."

"We do have a pretty fucked up friendship."

"No, we've got a fucked up relationship. We're 'friends by association.'"

"That's not true."

"I bet you chucked the bracelet out the window the moment you learned it was from me, huh?" He took a step back.

She looked down at her hands, remembering the morning after her sixteenth birthday when she'd woken to the small package, much like the small box Severus had sent her containing the hair clasp, on her pillow. Inside was a bracelet of smooth, red beryl stones, deep red and strung together by a very fine golden thread. From the stones' clarity and the malleability of the gold, she believed it to be wizard wrought. And like all of the other gifts she'd received, a note was attached, this time in James steady handwriting:

_For the cleverest witch I know, whose matching hair and temper inspired this, James._

"No," she whispered, remembering the fight with Tuny at the end of the summer.

"Well you should have," he whispered, looking down at her. "It would have confirmed what everyone already knew."

"And what do they already know?" she was frowning now.

"That I mean nothing to you."

"James," her eyes welled with tears, the hurt in his eyes breaking her heart.

"I mean, seriously Lily, what is it about me that repels you so? Every girl in this school would love to go out with me, yet you'd rather die. What is it about ME, Lily that you hate? Why am I off limits? Why can you date anyone else at this damn school, my friends and even Muggles before you'd date ME?" He was yelling now, his face redder than she'd ever seen him.

Before she could even think of a good response, her coping mechanism kicked in and she was fighting back.

"See, you say rubbish like that and think that I can be with you?" she was yelling now, "What's wrong with dating Muggles? My Mum, my Da, my sister, my life before you came along was Muggle!"

"I'm not attacking your-"

"Do you think that it's because I don't fall for you that you think you're in love with me? Because I don't snog you openly in couches, I don't press against you in empty corridors and I don't shag you in my four-poster? Do you think that this- infatuation- with me is only because you favor the chase? I am the only one to make the guy with 'the perfect qualities in a partner' work for it!" she threw his words back in his face.

"How dare you-"

"How about we settle this now!" she was out of control now.

She grabbed his arm with one hand, and put her fingers through the loopholes in his trousers with her other. In a moment, she'd brought his hips to hers and forced his hand on her breast.

"Take me now, strong man," she growled, pushing him backward so that they fell on his bed, her body stretched over him.

Anger and arousal and humiliation all flooded his system at once, flaring up in his eyes. Before she could process what she herself had done, he pushed her off of him.

"Get the fuck away from me, Lily. Don't you ever touch me again!"

In that moment, his expression really did break her heart.

"James, I'm sorry, I wasn't-" and before she could offer her apology, he finished the conversation,

"Clean up the mess you've made and sod off, bitch," he growled before hurtling down the stone steps, out of the dormitory and eventually out of the castle.

* * *

><p>"Hey Skye," he whispered, climbing through the portrait hole.<p>

"Hi James," she smiled, taking a sip of her water and looking over at him.

"What are you doing here again?"

"Looking for some quiet."

"Everyone wondered what happened to you when you ran out of here like a bat out of hell."

"Is that your subtle way of asking what happened?"

"You know me so well, James Potter?" she smiled, turning around and straddling her seat.

"I decided to take a nap in a quieter place."

"Like, away from Lily Evans?"

"Exactly," he grinned, pushing her hair away from his forehead.

"We saw her leave the dorms a few minutes after you left. We guessed it was a fight."

"Yea, another fight…"

"What's this about?"

"The same as the others. I'm through with her though."

"Oh?" she asked raising a brow.

"Shut up, it's not like I say this once every day. It's over. I'm friends with the Marauders and Sunny and Fly. But she's just there; I'm not going to acknowledge her anymore. She's my friends' friend."

"And you're sure that's wise?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Doesn't matter if it's wise, it just matters that I'm happy."

"Are you happy knowing that there's no chance now?"

"There was never a chance; I've lived with that until now. What's the difference now?"

"Your call, James Potter, your call," she smiled before standing up and returning to her new painting.

"Goodnight Skye."

"Bye James," she replied behind him.

TBC…


End file.
